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Oh, My....don't do that........
Yep......
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Watch out!.........
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Peeking at you............
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You wanna be glad there are glass between you........
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I can't say too much.....I have done that!....................
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Now you see who posts these blogs..................
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They are the ones that say they don't read bills.......
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♥♥♥
~~~ Dr. Chesler was very tired so he got his wife to answer the phone by the bed, say he was out, and give advice which he whispered to her.
"Thank you very much, Mrs. Chesler" said the patient who called, "but I should like to ask you one thing. Is that gentleman who seems to be in bed with you fully qualified?"
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~~~ A woman describing her husband to a friend said, "He's the kind of guy who always hits the nail right on the thumb
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~~~ Our youngest son and his family were at our house, and he decided to call his brother. Picking up our new memory-feature telephone, he asked, "Do you have Arty in memory?"
"Of course," replied Gus " He's my oldest son, tall, thin, with red hair."
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~~~ The sermon this morning is "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight is "Searching for Jesus."
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~~~ Gus: My doctor advised me to exercise with dumbbells.
Pete: So?
Gus: Care to join me in the gym?
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~~~ As a restaurant owner, I hired a pianist and a harpist to entertain my customers.
After several performances, I discovered that the pianist had walked away with some of my valuables.
I notified police, who arrested her.
Desperate for another pianist, I called a friend who knew some musicians.
"What happened to the pianist you had?" he asked me.
"I had her arrested," I replied.
We said good-bye and hung up.
A few minutes later my friend called back and asked, "How badly did she play?"
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~~~ Doc: I'd like to take your appendix out tomorrow.
Gus: Well, okay, but make sure you get it home by eleven.
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~~~ As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working.
Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy.
This was painfully obvious when one morning the wife was upstairs and the husband was downstairs on the telephone.
He was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet his neighbor.
"Give this to your wife," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into his hands......
"She's been yelling for it for 20 minutes!"
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~~~ Larry Hagman once purchased a Malibu home next to that of Burgess Meredith (whom he had known, and occasionally worked with, for some forty years).
When his alterations yielded a home two inches higher than planned, Meredith sued and, after a prolonged legal battle, lost.
Some time later, Meredith, originally a Shakespearean actor, fell upon hard times and was obliged to accept the embarrassing role of the Penguin on the campy hit television series "Batman".
Apprised that Meredith was planning a large party (to which he of course had not been invited), Hagman ordered fifty flags emblazoned with the Penguin's image.
Then, on the day of the party, he flew the flags above his home and waved to his livid neighbor's guests while a looped tape of the Penguin's trademark cries blasted from his windows.
(The men later made amends.)
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~~~ When a woman called 911 complaining of difficulty breathing, my husband, Glenn, and his partner, both EMTs rushed to her home.
Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen.
Then he began to gather her information.
"What's your age?" he asked.
"Fifty-eight," answered the patient, eyeing the beeping device on her finger.
"What does that do?"
"It's a lie detector,"said Glenn with a straight face.
"Now, what did you say your age was?"
"Sixty seven," answered the woman sheepishly.
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~~~ The minute I entered the post office, the postmaster noticed the diamond earrings my husband had just given me.
"Those must be real diamonds," she said.
I was thrilled she'd noticed..... "Yes, they are.... How could you tell?"
"Because," she said, "no one buys fake diamonds that small."
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~~~ "Our memory was affected by various substances which shall remain nameless," CSNY's Graham Nash once confessed.
He wasn't kidding: "One morning I got up," David Crosby later recalled, "jumped in my Volkswagen bus, drove down to (Monkeys frontman) Peter Tork's house, got out, walked through the living room, and went and lay down by the pool...before I realized I hadn't put any clothes on."
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Todays Thought: Boys will be boys and so will a lot of middle-aged men.......
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