Saturday, July 25, 2009

Good Morning....Friends.....Ready for a great week end?
Sunday evening rain......
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Here's a great picture of Natural Bridge....one of the great wonders....
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Wrong place ...wrong time...good shower.....
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I an't kissing old meat breath.....no way..
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Good pillow huh?...........
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Good hair piece...looks like some one I know........
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He can't believe what he's looking at.....
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Yack......I hate that.....mostly when it comes up between the toes.......
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ENO.......trying for a date.....
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♥♥♥
~~~ A few choice words were exchanged when I placed a want ad in the local newspaper.
The clerk and I quickly resolved our differences, and I thought nothing more of it until I opened the paper the next day.
There was my ad, all by itself under a brand new category.
"Help Clearly Needed."

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~~~ I purchased a new desktop-publishing program that surprised me by containing a make-a-paper-airplane option.
I decided to give it a try.
After I selected the plane I wanted, the software gave me a choice of accessories available for my plane, including a stick- up tail, adjustable flaps and an AM/FM radio.
Out of curiosity I chose the AM/FM radio.
The program responded with a message box stating: "Come on, be serious.
These are just paper airplanes."

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~~~ Our nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter.
At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper.
Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion.
But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry.
I can't seem to make out what I've written down."
Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

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~~~ For several years, I had been trying to convince my wife that she should do more cardiovascular exercise.
One day, she announced that she was going golfing at our local course and that she was going to walk instead of riding in a cart.
I thought this was a good start to getting in shape and that my nagging was finally paying off. When she came back, she walked into the house moaning and groaning over how much her back and her legs hurt.
"What does that tell you?" I asked.
She replied, "It tells me I should have taken the cart!"

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~~~ A fortune hunter is a person without any dollars who is trying to find a rich spouse without any sense.

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~~~ Bobbie said; Men are like department stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

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~~~ A busy mom made brownies for a school bake sale.
The next day she reached into the refrigerator for the pan and raced to the sale.
No one touched the pan, so she looked in it and, to her shame, saw not brownies, but steak she had left marinating in a similar pan.

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~~~ A small boy told a Sunday school teacher: "When you die, God takes care of you like your parents did whenyou were alive...only God doesn't yell at you all the time."

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~~~ Tony is having a really bad day on the golf course.
By the 14th hole, he's missed one putt too many, and he lets loose with a string of profanities, grabs his putter, and storms off toward the lake by the 15th tee."
Uh-oh," says his caddie to one of his playing partners, "There goes that club."
"You think so?" said the other golfer.
"I've got ten bucks says he misses the water."

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~~~ A mother had a job sheet for her kids taped to the refrigerator.
The children had to complete all their chores before they got their allowances.
When asked if this incentive worked, the mom said that it saved money:
She had not had to pay any allowance in weeks.

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~~~ WISDOM: Knowing what to do with what you know.

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~~~ Having driven members of the girls' volleyball team to an out-of- town game, I was waiting for my daughter's high school to reimburse me for the gas.
Days passed, until one afternoon I found shreds of paper in the washing machine after doing the laundry.
Looking closely, I saw it had been a check.
When asked, my daughter realized she'd forgotten to give it to me, and reluctantly agreed to go to the office and explain what had happened.
They issued another check, placed in a Ziploc bag with a note: “Please leave in bag when washing.”
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Todays Thought: Hipatitis: Terminal coolness....................
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1 comment:

  1. Middle of the day Sunday...NO POST yet....

    You UP...! ?

    ReplyDelete

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