Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....Ready for the weekend?
We're gonna have showers.....
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Have a cup of coffee this morning?...
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Breakfast?
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Yah....and don't forget it.....

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A weird looking critter......

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I hadda accident.......I ez sorry.......................

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My friend..........

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Wow.... what a floor covering........

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Ready to go swimming?..... thats cool......

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♥♥♥

~~~ Gus and Pete had jobs at a Arkansas cotton mill.
One morning the foreman came along and found Gus reading a letter to his coworker.
"Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?"
"Pete got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Gus, "but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him."
"How come you got the cotton in your ears?"
"Pete don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"

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~~~ I have a friend who made billions of dollars writing and selling Cliff Notes.
One day I asked him where he got the idea and he said, "Well, to make a long story short...."

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~~~ A new broom sweeps clean, but the old broom knows all the corners. -- Irish Proverb

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~~~ My friends were in the market for a new car.
Since they are both disabled, they called the county tax department to see if we qualified for any tax breaks.
"Sorry." said the clerk......
"You're only eligible for car-related tax breaks if you're blind."

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~~~ My wife Ruby, worked the night before our 36th anniversary, so I left a card on her pillow and a red rose in a vase on the bedside table.
That evening, she greeted me with a particularly warm kiss and then held up my card.
"Yes, I left you that," I said.
"No, this is the card I bought for you" she said.
"This" Ruby help up another "is the card you bought for me."
At two different stores, we had bought identical anniversary cards.

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~~~ "Too often...we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."
(John F. Kennedy)

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~~~ Gus's wife enrolled Sadie, her lovable but dumb cocker spaniel, in a ten-week obedience class.
At the end of the term Sadie had made little progress.
She re-enrolled her, but at the end of the second course Sadie was still noticeably behind her canine classmates.
The instructor, perhaps determined to succeed with that dog, offered to let her repeat the course for the third time at no charge.
That evening Gus heard his wife on the phone with her mother.
"Guess what?" she said......
"Sadie was the only dog in her class to get a free scholarship!"

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~~~ Birdwatching is a passion of mine, and my wife has always been impressed by my ability to identify each species solely by its song.
To help her learn a little bit about birds, I bought a novelty kitchen clock that sounds a different bird call for each hour.
We were relaxing in our yard when a cardinal started singing.
"What's that?! I challenge.
She listened closely..... "It' three o'clock."

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~~~ Laugh for yesterday.
Live for today.
Pray for tomorrow.
Love for always.

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~~~ When our youngest daughter, Diane was 14, she began to question some of our house rules; as a result, many arguments ensued.
During one such argument, she told us, "When I'm 16, I am out of here.
Then you will be sorry...... That will show you!"
"If you do go, honey," I said, "I hope you'll be happy."
"Well, I hope I'll be miserable," Diane replied, "Because that would really bug you."

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~~~ Upon arriving in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, the British Airways steward reportedly told passengers, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Riyadh.
For the correct local time, please set your watches back 300 years."

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~~~ A driver was surprised to be pulled over by a policeman and cried, "But I wasn't speeding!" The officer patiently replied...... "That's true, sir.
You were within the speed limit when you ran the red light."

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Todays thought: A true friend is one that lets his grass grow as tall as yours.

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