Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Good Morning......Friends,
Happy Canada Day to our friends up north.......
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This mornings sunrise.......

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He's getting away from them ugly dogs......

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I do think this ones the one............................

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Not pretty.......when he bites....he hurts ya.....

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Good Question........

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I stole this pic from "Suzzie".......thanks.

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Now I gotta hide.......

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Kick the ball, and run.......

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♥♥♥

~~~ My sister bought her five-year old daughter, Rebecca, a hamster.
One day he escaped from his cage.
The family turned the house upside-down and finally found him.
Several weeks later, while Rebecca was at school, he disappeared again.
My sister searched frantically, but sadly, never found the little critter.
Hoping to make the loss less painful for Rebecca, my sister took the cage out of her room.
When Rebecca came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother's lap.
"We have a serious problem," she announced.
"Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took his cage along."

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~~~ I walked into the music store to buy a CD of Rachmaninoff's Second Piano Concerto.
I found the hiphop, R&B, country and jazz sections, but no area where I might look for Rachmaninoff.
"Excuse me," I said to a young store clerk.
"Do you have a classical section?"
After a brief hesitation, she asked, "You mean...like Elvis?"

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~~~ A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

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~~~ Faculty members at a university were urged to become familiar with the time-saving machines of the brand-new computer centre.
Basic courses in their use were given, and research projects were accelerated.
The faculty was enthusiastic, except for one veteran professor.
Not only did he flunk the primer course, but on his first project,when he asked the machine simply to separate the names of students by sex, the cards came out in three stacks.

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~~~ Gus, a volunteer firefighter, was waiting in line to give blood at a blood donor clinic.
His pager went off, so he left quickly, only to discover it was a false alarm.
Upon returning, his pulse and blood pressure were checked, but his pulse was too high to donate blood.
After waiting ten minutes to be retested, a different nurse came looking for him:
"Are you the man with the pulse?"

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~~~A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to success.

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~~~ Perhaps the straight and narrow path would be wider if more people used it.

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~~~ Our two grandchildren informed us that they'd already had lunch by the time we arrived to babysit.
"What did you have?" I asked.
"Tuna sandwiches," Ty replied.
I told them I'd heard that people shouldn't eat too much tuna because of the mercury in it.
"Not in ours, Grandpa!" Ty said...... "We have mayonnaise."
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~~~ As she rushed to work one morning, my co-worker was caught in a speed trap.
Flustered, she fumbled in her wallet, quickly pulled out her driver's license and handed it to the police officer.
He handed it back, chuckling, "You'll get points, ma'am, but not this kind."
She had given him her Discover card.

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~~~ As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards.
Pictures will be taken next Friday, and employees will receive their cards in three weeks.

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~~~ Two women were sitting by the cruise ship's pool.
One asked what kind of water they fill the pool with -- fresh water or sea water?
The cruise director answered, "Sea water."
"Oh, that explains why it's so rough today."

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~~~ Bill and a woman are standing side by side waiting for a bus when they get to talking.
"Say," said the woman.
"Do you have a hobby?"
"Naturally, a hobby I got, I'm a bee keeper."
"Well, you must live in the country then."
"Nope, right here in the city... in Philadelphia."
"Really? You must have a large house then."
"Nope, apartment."
"Geez, where do you keep'm?"
"A shoe box in my closet."
"A shoe box!?...... How many bees do you have?"
"Couple thousand, something like that. ....So who counts?"
"Well, you can't keep a couple thousand bees in a shoe box! They'll die!"
"So what? I hate bees."

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~~~ Our client sought short-term disability insurance after injuring a knee.
In order to process his claim, I had to ask the obvious: "And which knee is it?"
He replied, "Mine."
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Todays Thought: "Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability."
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1 comment:

  1. Good stuff today.

    Lord, I still laugh every time I see that picture. Dude...TicTac!

    Have a good day,

    Suzzie

    ReplyDelete

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