Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....friends.....Another hot one.......
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We could just go to the beach, and cool off.
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Just keep off the grass........

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You know...I don't think thats a good idea.....

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I wouldn't mess with him.......

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Oh,...I'm scared!! he's a cutie.....

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Pow! right in the kisser.....that'll teach you......

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Smell good??

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Yep.....I hear...........

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♥♥♥

~~~ Nearing 60 and woefully out of shape, she resolved to buy a bicycle and begin an exercise regimen.
As she browsed in the bike shop, a young, athletic-looking clerk approached.
"What do you have for a fat old lady with a big, tender posterior who hasn't ridden in years?" she asked.
He didn't even blink.
"Well, why don't you bring her in, and we'll see what we can do," he said, clinching the sale.

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~~~ A Catholic priest I once knew went to the hospital to visit patients.
Stopping at the nurses station, he carefully looked over the patient roster and jotted down the room number of everyone who had "Cath" written boldly next to his name.
That, he told me, was a big mistake.
When I asked why, he replied, "It was only after I had made the rounds that I learned they were all patients with catheters."

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~~~ It was the worst rainstorm of the century.
Half the valley was gone.
Agitated, a man called the rescue hotline.
"Help me. I'm standing in two feet of water!"
The rescue monitor said, "That's not exactly a flood emergency around here."
The man said, "No? I'm calling from the fourth floor!"

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~~~ Little Roger was pitching for the Little League team.
After he walked the first six players that came up, he was taken out of the game.
"It isn't fair," he moaned.
"I was pitching a no-hitter!"

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~~~ Finance is the art of using other people's money to acquire some for yourself.

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~~~ Robbie, my nine-year-old grandson, recently asked his mother, "Mom, what is puberty?"
She gently explained that puberty occurs when children's bodies begin to change.
"Boys," she said, "Grow taller and develop muscles.
Their voices change and deepen, and they start to grow hair such as facial hair."
After her lengthy explanation, she asked, "Do you understand, Robbie?"
"Yes" he replied..... "I just hope it happens on a Saturday, when I'm not in school."

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~~~ For over 40 years my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement.
"How has life changed?" I asked.
A man of few words, he replied, "Well I get up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it half-done."

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~~~ A friend of mine tried to explain the facts of life to her young children in a way they could understand.
When she was expecting her third child, she told her toddler and five-year-old that Daddy had planted a seed inside her and a baby grew from that seed.
Quite puzzled, the five-year-old asked,.................. "Was my face on the packet of seeds?"

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~~~ When asked to define "patience" the race-car driver thought for a bit, then replied, "To me, patience means having the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears."
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Today Thoughts: Enjoy yourself.
These are the good old days you're going to miss in the future.
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