Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....And How's everyone today?
Another Hot day here....
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Mountains in the background.......Headed to the park..
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Oh...oh....forgot to put the brakes on....huh?
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A good looking "Shire" a beautiful draft horse.......weighs a ton...

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Poison dart..... but colorful....

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What can you say......

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What out.....

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No! get up.....now !

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A Gypsy Vanner.........

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♥♥♥

~~~ Pete went to a restaurant where three eggs cost $8.95.
The waitress said, "Would you like them scrambled?"
Pete said, "No...... At $3 an egg I want to count them."

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~~~ A man called up a church and the church secretary answered the call.
The man on the other end of the line said, "I’d like to speak to the head hog."
The secretary replied, "That wasn’t a very nice thing to say about our beloved pastor, Rev. Dalton."
Again the man replied, "I’d like to speak to the head hog, because I’m going to donate $75,000.00 to the church.
She replied, "Hold on a moment, I think the big fat pig just walked in."

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~~~ A woman from R-ville, Va., attended a party in New York where the hostess was determined to make her East guest feel cheap and unimportant.
"My dear," said the New York matron snobbishly, "here in the city we think breeding is everything."
"Oh I don't know...." said the R-ville woman.
"Where I come from we think it's fun, too, but we try to have a few outside interests as well."

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~~~ I'm a police officer and was parked near a motel, running radar checks, when a man approached my vehicle and asked for help.
He complained that the volume on the television in the empty motel room next to his was so loud that he and his wife couldn't sleep.
No one was in the motel office.
The man's wife was outside when I reached their door.
That's when I got my idea. I asked her for their remote control, aimed it through the window of the empty room, and turned off the blaring TV.

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~~~ My wife and I sat on the floor of our RV facing the open door of our gas oven, which was not working properly.
We watched intently, waiting for the burner flame to return to a normal pilot state.
Gina, a neighboring camper, knocked, then opened the door.
She looked startled, but quickly recovered.
"Oh, that's right," she said, "you guys don't have a TV."

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~~~ When a bishop visited one of his remoter parishes, he was surprised to find only five people in the congregation.
He said to the vicar "Did you tell the people I was coming?."
The vicar replied "No, but Heaven help the person who did!"

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~~~ It wasn't the apple that caused the trouble in the Garden of Eden, it was the pair on the ground.

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~~~ My mother-in-law was going to spend the holidays with us.
Before her arrival, my wife,and I debated whether or not she should accompany us to a party on New Year's Eve.
wife wanted her to attend, but I worried she might feel out of place.
I turned to my 21-year-old son, who had been listening.
"I agree with you, Dad," he said.
"You shouldn't take her."
Surprised, as he always agrees with his Mom, I was basking in his approval when he added, "That would be like me taking mom to a party with me."

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~~~ Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. You'll be happy to know that when I gave my speech to the secretary to be typed, I asked her to eliminate all that was on the dull side.
So, in conclusion...

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~~~~ I was having lunch with my daughter Debra, who's five, at our local mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old.
All morning, women had been smiling at me and giving me the eye.
Getting up to leave the table, I ran my fingers through my hair- and discovered two yellow-ducky barrettes that had been lovingly placed there hours before.

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~~~ Why are there no Christians in Heaven yet?
Because they are all still at the gates, saying to each other: "After you", "No, I insist after you..."
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Todays Thought: An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
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