"Witchy" be careful.......
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.
Now this is a pretty Gypst vanner.....
I have nothing to say.....
I have nothing to say......
Ugly man......
Ugly man.......
He wants a "Wopper".....
He wants a "Wopper"......
Oh...Yahhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh...Yahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Was he good??
Was he good??.
.
.
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Todays thought: My mind works like lightning...... One brilliant flash and it is gone.
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☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
..
♥♥♥
~~~ Columbus traveled around the world at public expense and they called him an explorer. Today they would call him a congressman.
.
~~~ Pat told me: After noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet.
It was then I shared my dark secret: "I put our teenage son's shorts in his underwear drawer."
.
~~~ My sky-diver husband and the pilot of his plane were driving to a jump zone when they were pulled over by a police officer for speeding.
The officer approached the car and jokingly asked for a pilot's license and flight plan.
These were promptly passed over to him.
His face expressed amazement, then amusement.
"I always knew one day I'd get caught with that line," and he let them go with a warning.
.
~~~ After struggling unsuccessfully in a Tokyo restaurant with a Japanese-only menu and a waiter who spoke only Japanese, I turned for help to a young woman seated at a nearby table. She was eating what appeared to be a club sandwich.
Pointing to her plate, I politely inquired, "Do you mind telling me what you call that?"
She looked at me blankly for a moment, then replied in perfect English, "I call it a sandwich."
.
~~~ You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
.
~~~ While on a trip in India, my sister and I dined in an exquisite restaurant in Bangalore.
I decided to try the smorgasbord, which was beautifully displayed and loaded with a multitude of unknown delicacies.
I was savouring the last morsel when the waiter asked if I had enjoyed the meal.
I told him I had, adding, however, that the yellow-green slices of a squash-like vegetable had not been to my taste.
With great respect the waiter replied, "Madam, you ate the decorations."
.
~~~ The final step before my mother earned her private pilot's licence was her first solo cross-country flight in a Cessna 150.
Just before leaving for the airport, she received a call from my grandmother.
"Now you be careful," Grandma admonished.
"And for heaven's sake, make sure you fly low and slow."
.
~~~ We would sometimes have trouble with skunks getting under our house.
One morning we awoke with the smell of a skunk.
I was a sophomore in college.
This was the day for ROTC drill and I had to wear my ROTC uniform to school.
I took the uniform out of the closet, put it on and left for school.
I went to my first class and was sitting in the middle of about a hundred students. All of a sudden, I could smell a skunk in the science classroom.
For some reason, everyone was looking at me.
I then realized that my ROTC uniform had a strong skunk smell and I got out of that room as fast as I could. I went to the college dean to get an excused absence.
He was usually difficult to deal with.
But, when he got a whift of me, I had no problem getting an excused absence for the rest of the day.
.
~~~ My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings.
"Mom, I call all the time," I said.
"If you had an answering machine, you'd know."
Soon after, my brother installed one for her.
"When I called the next time, I got her machine: If you are a salesperson, press one. "If you're a friend, press two. If you're my daughter who never calls, press 911 because the shock will probably give me a heart attack."
.
~~~ Having passed the enlistment physical, Robert was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, Sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, Sir."
.
~~~ On his 91st birthday, Milton Berle (1908-2002) was honored at the Friars Club, the famed fraternity for comedians and ribald humor.
At the end of the evening, Berle, the club's abbot emeritus (with roots going back to the original Friars Club in New York), approached the dais to address the gathering: "I'll be brief," he declared.
"And if you believe that, you believe there'll be a Richard Simmons, Jr!"
.
~~~ A most frustrated fellow was the man who bought a new boomerang and had a terrible time throwing the old one away.
.
~~~ Robbie, my nine-year-old grandson, recently asked his mother, "Mom, what is puberty?"
She gently explained that puberty occurs when children's bodies begin to change.
"Boys," she said, "Grow taller and develop muscles.
Their voices change and deepen, and they start to grow hair such as facial hair."
After her lengthy explanation, she asked, "Do you understand, Robbie?"
"Yes" he replied...... "I just hope it happens on a Saturday, when I'm not in school."
.
~~~ Pat told me: After noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet.
It was then I shared my dark secret: "I put our teenage son's shorts in his underwear drawer."
.
~~~ My sky-diver husband and the pilot of his plane were driving to a jump zone when they were pulled over by a police officer for speeding.
The officer approached the car and jokingly asked for a pilot's license and flight plan.
These were promptly passed over to him.
His face expressed amazement, then amusement.
"I always knew one day I'd get caught with that line," and he let them go with a warning.
.
~~~ After struggling unsuccessfully in a Tokyo restaurant with a Japanese-only menu and a waiter who spoke only Japanese, I turned for help to a young woman seated at a nearby table. She was eating what appeared to be a club sandwich.
Pointing to her plate, I politely inquired, "Do you mind telling me what you call that?"
She looked at me blankly for a moment, then replied in perfect English, "I call it a sandwich."
.
~~~ You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
.
~~~ While on a trip in India, my sister and I dined in an exquisite restaurant in Bangalore.
I decided to try the smorgasbord, which was beautifully displayed and loaded with a multitude of unknown delicacies.
I was savouring the last morsel when the waiter asked if I had enjoyed the meal.
I told him I had, adding, however, that the yellow-green slices of a squash-like vegetable had not been to my taste.
With great respect the waiter replied, "Madam, you ate the decorations."
.
~~~ The final step before my mother earned her private pilot's licence was her first solo cross-country flight in a Cessna 150.
Just before leaving for the airport, she received a call from my grandmother.
"Now you be careful," Grandma admonished.
"And for heaven's sake, make sure you fly low and slow."
.
~~~ We would sometimes have trouble with skunks getting under our house.
One morning we awoke with the smell of a skunk.
I was a sophomore in college.
This was the day for ROTC drill and I had to wear my ROTC uniform to school.
I took the uniform out of the closet, put it on and left for school.
I went to my first class and was sitting in the middle of about a hundred students. All of a sudden, I could smell a skunk in the science classroom.
For some reason, everyone was looking at me.
I then realized that my ROTC uniform had a strong skunk smell and I got out of that room as fast as I could. I went to the college dean to get an excused absence.
He was usually difficult to deal with.
But, when he got a whift of me, I had no problem getting an excused absence for the rest of the day.
.
~~~ My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings.
"Mom, I call all the time," I said.
"If you had an answering machine, you'd know."
Soon after, my brother installed one for her.
"When I called the next time, I got her machine: If you are a salesperson, press one. "If you're a friend, press two. If you're my daughter who never calls, press 911 because the shock will probably give me a heart attack."
.
~~~ Having passed the enlistment physical, Robert was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, Sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, Sir."
.
~~~ On his 91st birthday, Milton Berle (1908-2002) was honored at the Friars Club, the famed fraternity for comedians and ribald humor.
At the end of the evening, Berle, the club's abbot emeritus (with roots going back to the original Friars Club in New York), approached the dais to address the gathering: "I'll be brief," he declared.
"And if you believe that, you believe there'll be a Richard Simmons, Jr!"
.
~~~ A most frustrated fellow was the man who bought a new boomerang and had a terrible time throwing the old one away.
.
~~~ Robbie, my nine-year-old grandson, recently asked his mother, "Mom, what is puberty?"
She gently explained that puberty occurs when children's bodies begin to change.
"Boys," she said, "Grow taller and develop muscles.
Their voices change and deepen, and they start to grow hair such as facial hair."
After her lengthy explanation, she asked, "Do you understand, Robbie?"
"Yes" he replied...... "I just hope it happens on a Saturday, when I'm not in school."
.
~~~ When potatoes were first introduced to Europe, people were skeptical and only ate the leaves, which made them sick.
They would then throw away the rest, including the actual spud.
~~~ When potatoes were first introduced to Europe, people were skeptical and only ate the leaves, which made them sick.
They would then throw away the rest, including the actual spud.
.
.
Todays thought: My mind works like lightning...... One brilliant flash and it is gone.
.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Great blog as always Gus. I adore horses and that pic of the Vanner is a beauty.
ReplyDeleteRae xx