Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.... Friends...well we finally are going to get some great
weather......
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Isn't this a beautiful beast......
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Taz, and Carol....Ha-ha.....I'll get ragged for that......

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Future Man.....ha-ha.....

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Yea! right!.... I'll get "Milo" to take care of my Lite work.....

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Where did he go???

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You better be scared...."Milo's" on his way.......

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Kissing a cow??

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Pretty Picture.........

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~~~ Bobbie: Where are you taking that skunk?

Gus: To the gym.

Bobbie: What about the smell?

Gus: Oh, he'll get used to it.

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~~~ I'm paranoid about everything.

On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror.

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~~~ Pete: Lost you job as a caddy?

Gus: Yes, I could do the work all right, but I just couldn't learn not to laugh.

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~~~ DOCTOR: Sorry I made you wait so long.

PATIENT: I didn't mind the wait so much, but I did think you'd like to treat my illness in its early stages.

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~~~ My seven-year-old niece Julie was visiting our farm.

At milking time, I put Victoria the Goat on the milkstand and was preparing to milk her when Julie walked up behind her.

Now, Julie was an inquisitive sort, always asking her parents (and others) about things, and was in the stage of learning about bodies.

Julie stood there for a moment, contemplating the goat from the rear, and remarked, "My, what big testicles she has".

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~~~ Diplomacy is the art of saying something when you have nothing to say, or of saying nothing when you have something to say.

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~~~ A friend of mine was enjoying his new car's powerful sound system by driving along with the volume way up.

At a traffic light, he heard someone shout, "Hey do you mind?"

Stopped next to him was a young man in an open convertible.

He pointed to an object in his hand and said, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

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~~~ Most of my boarding school students are more computer literate than I.

So I was surprised to find one sophomore writing a term paper on an electric typewriter.

In a reminiscent mood I said, "When I was in school my typewriter wasn't even electric."

She looked at me in shock and asked,.... "Do you mean it was battery- operated?"

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~~~ There was once an elderly, despondent woman in a nursing home.

She wouldn't speak to anyone or request anything.

She merely existed - rocking in her creaky old rocking chair.

The old woman didn't have many visitors.

But every couple mornings, a concerned and wise young nurse would go into her room.

She didn't try to speak or ask questions of the old lady.

She simply pulled up another rocking chair beside the old woman and rocked with her.

Weeks or months later, the old woman finally spoke.

'Thank you,' she said...... 'Thank you for rocking with me.'"

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~~~ In ancient China, doctors could receive fees only if their patient was cured.

If the patient deteriorated, they would have to pay the patient.

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~~~ A prince had a curse put on him when he was a little boy.

He could only speak two words every year.

But, if he didn't speak for a whole year, he would then be able to speak 4 words the next year and so on.

One day he met a princess named Josie and he wanted to say: "My Princess".

The next year he saw her he wanted to say: "My princess, i love you".

The third year he saw her he wanted to say :"My princess I love you, will you marry me?"

But, the young prince, now growing older knew he would have to wait a couple more years.

So, on the fifth year, excited to finally present his question, he visited the princess.

He approached her respectfully and asked, "JOSIE, MY PRINCESS, I LOVE YOU.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

And the princess said,....... "Pardon?"

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Did You know: Andrew Jackson's wife, Rachel,was the only first lady who smoked a pipe.

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