Seems thats all we get lately........
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Bossies, giving her a lick.....
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Now thats cool.... Had a friend that made one like this with a Henry J....
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My driver,...he works cheap.......
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I think his eyes are bigger then his belly......
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Keep moving....hes lookin for dinner.........
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She sazs; I'll box his ears off,...wait....no ears......
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Oh well....time to take the dog for a walk......
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♥♥♥
~~~ When a son said that his ambition was to drive an army tank his father said 'I won't stand in your way'.
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~~~ The eponymous hero of J. M. Barrie's "Peter Pan" tells the Darling children that they can fly if only they believe with sufficient conviction.
Alas, shortly after the play's 1904 London premiere, Barrie began to hear from parents whose children had taken Peter at his word - and hurt themselves vainly attempting to fly.
The playwright therefore added a cautionary statement to the play: that all children could fly, but only if they had first been sprinkled with "fairy dust"!
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~~~ Why do bulimics love KFC? Because it comes with a bucket.
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~~~ The sermon was endless.
Getting to another point, the minister said, "What else can I say?"
A member of the congregation yelled out,..... "Amen!"
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~~~ For our Sunday school pizza party, I had told the children they could bring a friend.
Just before serving, one of the mothers asked if anyone had any allergies.
A little hand went up and, in a worried voice, five-year-old Shane said, "You're not going to try to feed me penicillin, are you?"
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~~~ A little girl from the city, seeing a horse being shod, rushed to her mother.
"Mother," she cried, "there's a man out there building a horse.
I just saw him nailing on the feet!"
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~~~ A firm of shipowners wired one of their captains: Move heaven and earth but get here Friday.
Just as they were getting a little anxious they received the following reply: Raised holy hell and arriving Thursday.
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~~~ Politeness is making company feel at home, when you wish they were.
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~~~ A few years ago, I opened the invitation to my cousin's 100th birthday party.
On the front in bold letters, it screamed, "If he's heard it once, he's heard it a hundred times.
Happy Birthday, Harold!"
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~~~ Approaching 40, my frugal husband yearned for a boat.
Frugality won out until the day he came across the obituary of an old high- school classmate, Ted. Certain this was a sign that life was too short, my husband purchased a boat that weekend. Days later, a former classmate called.
"Sure was a sad thing, wasn't it?" he said.
"You know, Ted's boating accident and all."
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~~~ After working for months to get in shape, my 42-year-old husband and I hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. At the end of two gruelling days, we made it back to the canyon's rim.
To celebrate, we each bought an "I hiked the canyon" T-shirt.
About a month later, while my husband was wearing his shirt, a young man approached him. "Did you really hike the canyon?" he asked.
My husband beamed with pride and answered, "Sure did!"
" No kidding!" the fellow said. "What year?"
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~~~ Most of my boarding school students are more computer literate than I.
So I was surprised to find one sophomore writing a term paper on an electric typewriter.
In a reminiscent mood I said, "When I was in school my typewriter wasn't even electric."
She looked at me in shock and asked,.... "Do you mean it was battery- operated?"
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Todays Thought: The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>☼<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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