The weekend is here...
.
You an't right!.......
Yeh....I bet!..........not "Hole" but "HOLES"........
Oppps.......Gotta let the body down.........
Grandma's going to the store..........
Their all "knoted" up........
Hey....."Carol" a horse picture for you.......
Nice shopping cart..........
Nice shopping cart...........
What can I say?.......
What can I say?........
♥♥♥
~~~ "Bobbie" was having a tea party on the lawn with her children.
A neighbor said, "How can you find time for a tea party when you have three small kids?"
She smiled and said, "They'll always remember our tea parties, but they'll never remember if their clothes were ironed or clean!"
.
~~~ Gus: I heard a new joke the other day.
I wonder if I told it to you.
Bobbie: Was it funny?
Gus: Yes.
Bobbie: You didn't.
.
~~~ The day before my graduation from high school, the principal called an assembly.
He wanted to say farewell informally, he explained, as he reviewed our years together.
There was hardly a dry eye among us as he concluded, "We will remember you, and hope you will remember us, more importantly, we want you to remember each other.
I want all of you to meet in this very auditorium 25 years from today."
There was a moment of silence; then a thin voice piped up, "What time?"
.
~~~ As a high-school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports.
A fellow coach, Bob, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night.
When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn't home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach right away.
"Just calm down, and I'll have him call you as soon as he gets home," the coach's wife told him. "What's your number?"
The flustered kid replied, "Three."
.
~~~ Gus: I was down at the lake and I saw a catfish.
Pete: How did it hold the rod?
.
~~~ A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No" she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there.
.
~~~ Our neighbor had hired a great lawn-care guy who was a man of few words.
When she asked him for his name, he replied, "I go by Manitiuls."
When it came time to pay him, she said, "You have an unusual name.
Could you spell it for me?"
He looked a little confused but slowly said, "A.J."
.
~~~ The Economy is soooo Bad...
~~~ "Bobbie" was having a tea party on the lawn with her children.
A neighbor said, "How can you find time for a tea party when you have three small kids?"
She smiled and said, "They'll always remember our tea parties, but they'll never remember if their clothes were ironed or clean!"
.
~~~ Gus: I heard a new joke the other day.
I wonder if I told it to you.
Bobbie: Was it funny?
Gus: Yes.
Bobbie: You didn't.
.
~~~ The day before my graduation from high school, the principal called an assembly.
He wanted to say farewell informally, he explained, as he reviewed our years together.
There was hardly a dry eye among us as he concluded, "We will remember you, and hope you will remember us, more importantly, we want you to remember each other.
I want all of you to meet in this very auditorium 25 years from today."
There was a moment of silence; then a thin voice piped up, "What time?"
.
~~~ As a high-school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports.
A fellow coach, Bob, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night.
When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn't home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach right away.
"Just calm down, and I'll have him call you as soon as he gets home," the coach's wife told him. "What's your number?"
The flustered kid replied, "Three."
.
~~~ Gus: I was down at the lake and I saw a catfish.
Pete: How did it hold the rod?
.
~~~ A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No" she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there.
.
~~~ Our neighbor had hired a great lawn-care guy who was a man of few words.
When she asked him for his name, he replied, "I go by Manitiuls."
When it came time to pay him, she said, "You have an unusual name.
Could you spell it for me?"
He looked a little confused but slowly said, "A.J."
.
~~~ The Economy is soooo Bad...
* CEO's are now playing miniature golf..
* Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM..
* McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer..
* Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names..
* A truckload of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico..
* The most highly-paid job is now jury duty..
* Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting..
* People in Africa are donating money to Americans..
* Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "Finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US?"..
* Motel Six won't leave the light on ..
.
~~~ Right now as you sit reading this, more than 100,000,000 microcreatures are swimming, feeding, reproducing, and depositing waste inside that area behind your lips.
.
.
Todays thought: How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☼~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM..
* McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer..
* Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names..
* A truckload of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico..
* The most highly-paid job is now jury duty..
* Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting..
* People in Africa are donating money to Americans..
* Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "Finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US?"..
* Motel Six won't leave the light on ..
.
~~~ Right now as you sit reading this, more than 100,000,000 microcreatures are swimming, feeding, reproducing, and depositing waste inside that area behind your lips.
.
.
Todays thought: How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☼~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 comments:
Thanx Gus I snagged it!
Good one's Gus and thank you so much for reminding me what a 'den of iniquity' my mouth is lol.
Rae xx
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