.
No favors........get the mouse....then you can EAT!.....
Now....Thats one sneaky cat...
Because youse is funny lookin........
Because youse is funny lookin.........
Tea break........
Tea break.........
No, No.....Dish soap drys your skin out....... 
Cats love string........
No, No.....Dish soap drys your skin out........
Cats love string.........
Couch potato !!
Couch potato !!.
One cool tomato......................
One cool tomato.......................
♥♥♥
~~~ QUESTION: What concession earned $862,000 in five months during the Chicago World's Fair in 1933?
ANSWER: The rest room - at 5 cents per visit.
.
~~~ Witchy had just finished taking a CPR class at a local college when she and I were in the mall and saw a big crowd gathered around a still body.
Suddenly Witchy took off running at a speed I didnt know she could muster.
"Everyone back," she yelled.
"I know CPR!"
Just as she threw herself next to the body and was about to begin the procedure a pair of strong hands pulled her to her feet.
ANSWER: The rest room - at 5 cents per visit.
.
~~~ Witchy had just finished taking a CPR class at a local college when she and I were in the mall and saw a big crowd gathered around a still body.
Suddenly Witchy took off running at a speed I didnt know she could muster.
"Everyone back," she yelled.
"I know CPR!"
Just as she threw herself next to the body and was about to begin the procedure a pair of strong hands pulled her to her feet.
"Ma'am" barked a police officer standing beside her, "we are trying to arrest this man."
.
~~~ Pointing to a pan of chicken wings and legs disguised in the classic mess-hall manner, a young airman asked the mess sergeant, "What's for chow?"
"Air Force chicken," replied the sergeant.
"You want wings or landing gear?"
.
~~~ "There's a man outside in a black cape with a strange request," the nurse told the doctor.
"What does he want?" the doctor asked.
"Well, doctor," the nurse explained.
"He says he wants two pints to go."
.
~~~ Three days after one of our regulars reserved a book, my fellow librarian phoned to tell him it had arrived.
"I'm calling from the public library," she said, "To tell you we will have Cruel Intentions for you until tomorrow at 8 p.m. Have a great day."
.
~~~ When my little brother, Noah, was in Beavers, a junior level of Boy Scouts, one of his leaders was introduced as "Hawkeye."
Noah came home after his first meeting all excited, and at the top of his voice said, "Mom, I had so much fun today!
My leader, Hot Guy, said we're going hiking next week!"
.
~~~ In order to process a medical claim, I asked a patient's mother to send details of her son's accident to me at our hospital's business office.
The boy had suffered a broken arm, so the file was coded: "Treatment of limb."
Aptly so, I thought after reading her description of the accident: "My son was running through the yard and turned into a tree."
.
~~~ A priest, a vicar and a rabbi are asked the question "When does life begin?"
The priest says, "The moment of conception."
The vicar replies, "The moment of birth."
The rabbi replies, "The moment the kids are married and the mortgage has been paid off."
.
~~~ One afternoon I was in our living room reading the sports pages.
"This pitcher earns $2.2 million a year just for throwing a ball straight," I ranted to my wife. "Anyone can do that."
I picked up a rubber ball that was lying next to my chair and threw it at a couch cushion.
"Look at that," I bragged.
"Bull's-eye!"
My wife tossed the ball back and I threw again, hitting dead center.
"Two in a row," I cheered.
My third toss went wild and ricocheted into one of my wife's favorite pictures, knocking it off the end table. S
he didn't even look up."
And that," she said, "is why you make $22,000 a year."
.
.
Todays thought; Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☺☺☺~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.
~~~ Pointing to a pan of chicken wings and legs disguised in the classic mess-hall manner, a young airman asked the mess sergeant, "What's for chow?"
"Air Force chicken," replied the sergeant.
"You want wings or landing gear?"
.
~~~ "There's a man outside in a black cape with a strange request," the nurse told the doctor.
"What does he want?" the doctor asked.
"Well, doctor," the nurse explained.
"He says he wants two pints to go."
.
~~~ Three days after one of our regulars reserved a book, my fellow librarian phoned to tell him it had arrived.
"I'm calling from the public library," she said, "To tell you we will have Cruel Intentions for you until tomorrow at 8 p.m. Have a great day."
.
~~~ When my little brother, Noah, was in Beavers, a junior level of Boy Scouts, one of his leaders was introduced as "Hawkeye."
Noah came home after his first meeting all excited, and at the top of his voice said, "Mom, I had so much fun today!
My leader, Hot Guy, said we're going hiking next week!"
.
~~~ In order to process a medical claim, I asked a patient's mother to send details of her son's accident to me at our hospital's business office.
The boy had suffered a broken arm, so the file was coded: "Treatment of limb."
Aptly so, I thought after reading her description of the accident: "My son was running through the yard and turned into a tree."
.
~~~ A priest, a vicar and a rabbi are asked the question "When does life begin?"
The priest says, "The moment of conception."
The vicar replies, "The moment of birth."
The rabbi replies, "The moment the kids are married and the mortgage has been paid off."
.
~~~ One afternoon I was in our living room reading the sports pages.
"This pitcher earns $2.2 million a year just for throwing a ball straight," I ranted to my wife. "Anyone can do that."
I picked up a rubber ball that was lying next to my chair and threw it at a couch cushion.
"Look at that," I bragged.
"Bull's-eye!"
My wife tossed the ball back and I threw again, hitting dead center.
"Two in a row," I cheered.
My third toss went wild and ricocheted into one of my wife's favorite pictures, knocking it off the end table. S
he didn't even look up."
And that," she said, "is why you make $22,000 a year."
.
.
Todays thought; Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☺☺☺~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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