Can you believe calling for frost tomorrow morning.......
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This bird is waiting for breakfast.....
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♥♥♥
~~~ There is nothing more beautiful than two young lovers steaming up a shower stall ....
something that's obviously lost on that manager at Home Depot.
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something that's obviously lost on that manager at Home Depot.
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~~~ Sherry said; My husband was making supper one evening and decided that he would do our laundry at the same time.
As he sorted our clothes for the wash, he exclaimed, "Whoever said that men can't multi- task?"
When he had finished preparing supper, he went to check on the laundry, only to find that the washing machine had completed its full wash cycle without any of our clothes in it.
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~~~ Scary business headline: Air traffic controllers can apply for job in braille.
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~~~ When little Reggie was inducted into the army, he was advised to act tough.
"That's the only way to command respect in the army," his friends said.
So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice.
He swaggered all around camp, bragging, being obnoxious and talking out of the corner of his mouth.
"Show me a sergeant and I'll show you a dope," Reggie shouted.
No sooner had he spoken that a rough, battle-hardened figure appeared.
"I am a sergeant!" he bellowed.
"I am a dope," whispered Reggie.
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~~~ The wife's on this new diet.
Coconuts and bananas.
She hasn't lost weight, but BOY can she climb a tree now!
.
~~~ In her rush to return to university, my friend Jill was caught speeding.
When she called to tell her parents, she did her best to downplay the incident.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," she began.
"the good news is my 16-year-old car still does 70 miles an hour.
The bad news is the police know it.
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~~~ I gave an elderly rabbit a Viagra but it died. ......
I guess old rabbits die hard.
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~~~ A man was driving.... when a traffic camera flashed.
He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly. but again the camera flashed.
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result.
The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
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~~~ In a courtroom, a purse snatcher is on trial and the victim is stating what happened.
She says, "Yes, that is him.
I saw him clear as day.
I'd remember his face anywhere."
At which point, the defendant bursts out, "You couldn't see my face, lady..... I was wearing a mask!"
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.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<☺>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As he sorted our clothes for the wash, he exclaimed, "Whoever said that men can't multi- task?"
When he had finished preparing supper, he went to check on the laundry, only to find that the washing machine had completed its full wash cycle without any of our clothes in it.
.
~~~ Scary business headline: Air traffic controllers can apply for job in braille.
.
~~~ When little Reggie was inducted into the army, he was advised to act tough.
"That's the only way to command respect in the army," his friends said.
So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice.
He swaggered all around camp, bragging, being obnoxious and talking out of the corner of his mouth.
"Show me a sergeant and I'll show you a dope," Reggie shouted.
No sooner had he spoken that a rough, battle-hardened figure appeared.
"I am a sergeant!" he bellowed.
"I am a dope," whispered Reggie.
.
~~~ The wife's on this new diet.
Coconuts and bananas.
She hasn't lost weight, but BOY can she climb a tree now!
.
~~~ In her rush to return to university, my friend Jill was caught speeding.
When she called to tell her parents, she did her best to downplay the incident.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," she began.
"the good news is my 16-year-old car still does 70 miles an hour.
The bad news is the police know it.
.
~~~ I gave an elderly rabbit a Viagra but it died. ......
I guess old rabbits die hard.
.
~~~ A man was driving.... when a traffic camera flashed.
He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly. but again the camera flashed.
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result.
The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
.
~~~ In a courtroom, a purse snatcher is on trial and the victim is stating what happened.
She says, "Yes, that is him.
I saw him clear as day.
I'd remember his face anywhere."
At which point, the defendant bursts out, "You couldn't see my face, lady..... I was wearing a mask!"
.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<☺>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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