Another friend passed last weekend.....Makes you wonder???
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Yah....that would help..........
Real Art.....looks real.....he's gotta be good........
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Hogs fly???...
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He's staying cool.........
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Thats just the money you could be saving with..............
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Wait until she gets up..........
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I didn't know they could do this...........
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Cool. but I wouldn't ride in it here....too many trucks and big SUV's....
Thats just a speed bump to them........
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♥♥♥
~~~ The new phone book arrived with a handy blank emergencynumber form attached to the front page.
I guess everyone's notion of an emergency is different.
The categories for phone numbers were listed in this order:
1. Pizza,
2. Takeout Restaurants,
3. Taxi,
4. Poison Control,
5. Doctor.
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~~~ Captain Kirk and Bones discover the body of the Pillsbury Doughboy on a far away, swelteringly hot planet.
Bones examines the corpse, turns to Kirk and solemnly says, "He's bread, Jim."
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~~~ Gus: You've helped me a lot, doctor.
A year ago, when the phone rang, I wouldn't have answered it.
DOCTOR: You've made great progress.
Gus: That's right.......
Today I answer the phone whether it rings or not.
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~~~ I have become very cholesterol-conscious and am trying to change the family's eating habits.
We are now consuming lots of oat bran, and I've substituted turkey for most of the meats we used to enjoy.
I use ground turkey in spaghetti sauce and we eat turkey hot dogs.
My 18-year-old daughter was getting tired of all the turkey and cholesterol talk.
One day she came home from school and asked the usual, "What's for dinner?"
"Chicken," I replied.
With a tired sigh she inquired, "Real chicken or turkey chicken?"
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~~~ On our way to the United States, we had to stop at the border for an agricultural inspection.
We had been to the same border check before, but this time the inspector's line of questioning was a bit different.
"Are you folks carrying any citrus fruit, citrus plants or citrus seeds, or any cotton, cotton plants or cotton seeds?"
"No sir," I answered."
Are you carrying any ham or tuna sandwiches?
"No," I replied.
"Any fried chicken?"
"No, officer," I said.
"Is there a new restriction on these items in United States?"
"No, not really," he sighed.
"It's just that I left my lunch at home this morning, and it's getting close to noon."
We happily gave him two bologna sandwiches, and went on our way.
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~~~ BUCK: If you were hiking in the woods and saw a bear heading for you, would you keep walking--or would you run back to town?
Gus: I'd run back to town.
BUCK: With a bear behind!
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~~~ Not everyone gets how insurance works.
As I was helping an employee with his life insurance policy, I asked, "And who would you like to be the beneficiary?"
He replied, "Me"
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~~~ Driving along on a sunny day with her young granddaughter by her side, my sister was on top of the world.
"Grandma," said the girl, "is Grandpa a lot older than you?"
"A few years, yes," she said.
Then, fishing for a compliment, she inquired, "Why do you ask?"
"Well, his mustache is a lot bigger than yours."
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~~~ I was part of an amnesiacs support group....... but couldn't remember where the meetings were held.
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Todays thought: Old surgeons don't die -- they just cut out.
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