Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....this nice rainy day....Grass is shooting up...
Thats a good sign.... I love "Bit-o-Honeys....am I the only one?
I keep a candy jar with them beside the puter......
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Hey! watch it.....your spilling the water out of the picture.....
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Wow....that would scare the devil out of me.........

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Like the cows....Onion breath..............................

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Yep, he does.............................................

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Another good fit.........keep Milo away......so he won't say hurtful things.....

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On sale?

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Man....I bet it hurt.......Them horns will do it every time.........

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~~~ Said an envious, erudite ermine.

"There's one thing I cannot determine:When a girl wears my coat She's a person of note.

When I wear it, I'm called only vermin."

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~~~ In going back to my small hometown for a reunion, I was surprised at the changes I saw until a sign in front of the grocery store made me realize that the old values still existed.

The sign said: "We accept Visa, Master Card, Eggs."

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~~~ "A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space.

On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'"

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~~~ A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down.

After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.

He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink.

I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"

But the man said, "No thanks.

I don't smoke.

I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool.

I tried it once, but I didn't like it.

As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."

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~~~ Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."
The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors."
This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids. "

No go.
Next, they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics."

Thumbs down again.
Then came "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives."

Still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Minds and Behinds."

Unacceptable again.
So they tried "Lost Souls and Butt Holes."

No way.
"Analysis and Anal Cysts?"

Nope.
"Nuts and Butts? "

Uh uh.
"Freaks and Cheeks?"

Still no go.
"Loons and Moons?"

Forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with:

"Dr Smith and Dr. Jones,..... Odds and Ends."
Everyone loved it!

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~~~ A salesman, and engineer, and a technician are driving in a car when, just outside of town, they get a flat tire.

The three of them get out of the car and scratch their heads.

The salesman says, "Maybe I should walk into town and get us a new tire.

I know that I can bargain with the man at the parts store and get us a great deal."
The engineer stops him, saying,

"No, before you do that, we'll have to do some computations, figuring the grade of the road, the asphalt temperature, and the average rate of speed we will be traveling to know what kind of tire you should buy."
The technician laughs and shakes his head.

"No, no, no! What's wrong with you guys?

Hell, we have a spare tire in the trunk - now all we have to do is start swapping tires until we find the flat one!"

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Todays Thought: I misplaced my dictionary....

Now I'm at a loss for words.

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