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The yard this morning.....
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Eat your heart out "Pete"..................................
♥♥♥
~~~ Catholic shampoo
While shopping in a food store, two Nuns happened to pass by the beer section.
One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second Nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she wouldn't feel comfortable about buying it.
The first Nun replied that she could handle that without a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look on his face, so the Nun said, 'We use beer for washing our hair....a sort of shampoo if you will.'
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a bag of pretzels and placed them in the bag with the beer.
He then looked the Nun straight in the eye, smiled and said, 'The curlers are on the house.'
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~~~ A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter.
While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was.
The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing.
He did - backwards.
A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
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~~~ A cat's dictionary *Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
*Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.
*Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
*Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.
*Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.
*Purrson: A male kitty.
Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing .
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~~~ A fellow salesperson, an animal lover, was suddenly overcome by allergies at one of our company meetings.
Coughing, sniffling, watery eyes...he was a mess.
"If you have such terrible allergies, why do you keep so many pets?" asked a friend.
"Because" -zneeze, cough, hack,- "if I'm going to be sick, I might as well have company."
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~~~ Gus was fishing at Chucks pond,when Pete drove up..........
Pete: How's the fishing around here?
Gus: Fine.
Pete: Then how come you haven't caught anything?
Gus: You asked me about the fishing, not the catching.
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~~~ Warning Label on a cardboard windshield sun shade:"Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"
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~~~ My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
No one else cares.
Why should you? - Erma Bombeck -
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1 comment:
I LOVE it...We got about 7 inches here in Waynesboro....TC's out doing the shovel thing....Got pix too....Have a WARM DAY....
Keep the EXCELLENT pix coming...
Pete
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