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Checking out the bird feeders..........
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no thanks......I don't have a death wish...........................
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Another one just resting...........
Cool..................................................................
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♥♥♥
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~~~ Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear, kept us in a continuous
stampede of patriotic fervor with the cry of grave national emergency.
Always there has been some terrible evil at home or some monstrous foreign power that was going to gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the exorbitant funds demanded.
Yet, in retrospect these disasters seem never to have happened, seem never to have been quite real."
- General Douglas MacArthur -
- General Douglas MacArthur -
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~~~ Derek Hardy once a head golf pro at Snee Farm Country Club in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, and Beth Daniel teaching pro, on why he charges $1,000 for a single lesson yet offers a series of 13 lessons for $140:
"If you expect a miracle, you should expect to pay for one."
"If you expect a miracle, you should expect to pay for one."
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~~~ A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping.
The next day Susie went shopping.
Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.
"Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."!
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
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~~~ A woman went to the bank to arrange for a loan.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," the guard told her, "but the loan arranger is out to lunch."
"That's okay," said the woman.
"That's okay," said the woman.
"Can I speak to Tonto?"
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~~~ Barbara: I had a watch stolen from under my nose last night.
Laura: That's a funny place to wear it.
Laura: That's a funny place to wear it.
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~~~ SHERIFF: How many shots did the outlaw fire at you?
DEPUTY: Two shots.
DEPUTY: Two shots.
One when the bullet passed me and one when I passed the bullet.
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~~~ Fishin.... Pete tried several different kinds of bait without getting a single bite.
Finally, in disgust, he threw a handful of coins into the lake.
"Okay, wise guys?" he shouted to the fish.
"Okay, wise guys?" he shouted to the fish.
"Go out and buy something you like!"
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~~~ When our son, Bobby, turned six, we decided it was high time for him to ditch the Winnie the Pooh underwear for something a bit more studly.
So I bought him some Incredible Hulk briefs.
So I bought him some Incredible Hulk briefs.
When Bobby got home, he found the package lying on his bed.
“Finally!” he exulted. “Adult underwear!”
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Todays thought: Life is like an onion: You peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
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