Down Hummingbird Lane

Are we having fun yet ?
Your reading this an't cha?
~

Busted!!.....

Open your eyes........

I don't know about you...But I love ENO............

She's trying for the sleeper hold.........

Here you go............

♥♥♥

Jewish woman wants to take her dog to Israel, so she goes to the travel agent to find out how. He says, "It's easy. You go to the airline, they give you a kennel, you put your dog in it,

when you get off at Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there's your dog.

So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage rack, no dog.

She goes to the lost and found, says, "Where's my dog?"

They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in another terminal.

Only the dog is dead.

"Oh, my Gosh, they say, we killed this woman's dog.

What are we going to do?"

Then one says, "Wait a minute, it's a cockerspaniel.

They're common dogs.

There's a pet shop across the street from the airport.

We'll get the same size, shape, color, sex.

She'll never know the difference."

They bring the woman the other dog and she says,

"That's not my dog."

Laughingly and making light of it they say,

"What do you mean that's not your dog?"

And she says, "My dog's dead. I was taking it to Israel to bury it."

~~~

New Year's Resolutions Made By Dogs .............

12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.

11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.

10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.

8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to

us when no one is around.

7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll flush my ass.

5. Always scoot before licking.

4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much

food is *too* much.

3. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.

2. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Dogs...

1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

~~~

I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang.

"If you can answer one question," a young man said, "you'll win ten free dance lessons."

Before I could tell him I was not interested, he continued.

"You'll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented."

"I don't know," I replied dryly, trying to discourage him.

"What are you holding in your hand right now?" he asked excitedly.

"A bologna sandwich."

"Congratulations!" he shrieked. "

And for having such a great sense of humor…"

~~~

For years, the number-one alibi was "The check is in the mail."

This has given way to "The darn computer is down."

gus...