Good Morning...Today is Veterans Day, or Remembrance day..




We wish to Salute all the Veterans of the world.........................




And thank them for their service to their countrys....................

Thank you Canada......

Semper Fi.........................................

Looking out for the little one......................................................

Love my little play mate...............................................................

This my little play mate, an't she a cutie...................................

I'm gonna eat my "little buddy"....












♣ The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone...












♣ A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money...


The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid...



The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."...


The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order...



We can't wait that long."...












♣ A young couple moves into a new neighborhood...



The next morning, while they are eating breakfast,the young woman sees the neighbor hang up the wash outside...



"That laundry is not very clean", she said...



"She doesn't know how to wash correctly...



Perhaps she needs another laundry soap."..



The husband looked on, but remained silent...



Every time her neighbor would hang out the wash, the young woman would make the same comment...



About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look! she has learned how to wash correctly...



I wonder who taught her this?"...




Her husband said, "I got up early this morning and washed the windows."...



And so it is with life: What we see while watching others, depends on the purity of the window through which we look through...








♣ Bucky and his wife Kristal asked their 4-year-old son Andrew what kind of a birthday party he wanted...



"How about a pizza party?" they suggested...



After some thought, Andrew answered, "No. I want a presents party."...

Good Morning.....Another week is here...hope it's agood one..






Is it time to get up yet?...

It's play time...

Them birds must know we got a load of sunflower seeds...

Best part of the day....Gettin a Big Mac..........

We're on our way, for a Cheese burger....

Hey....we'll just ride in a cheese burger..

.......................................................................................................

♣ My Grandson was looking at my graduation picture...

He looked at it with his serious look and then at me...

He said , is this a picture of you when you were new?"...

The next morning, was the first time I thought about it again...

I laughed so loud,I nearly woke him up...

♣ We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys.

♣ I bought a set of Ginzu knives for only three easy payments of $19.95 and they came with a lifetime guarantee...

When the handles fell off, I returned the knives with my lifetime guarantee asking for a refund...

They wrote back saying, "The guarantee was for the lifetime of the knives...

Obviously, the knives are dead, so the guarantee is no longer valid."...

♣ Two men were working at the sawmill and one guy got too close to the saw and cut his ear off...

It fell in the sawdust pit so he jumped down into the pit and was hunting around trying to find it...

The second guy saw him and hollered down, "What're you doing?"...

The first man said that he had cut off his ear and was looking for it...

The second guy said, "I'll help you" and jumped in the pit...

He was searching around on his hands and knees and then hollered, "I found it!"..

The first guy took it and examined it closely, then said, "Keep looking...

Mine had a pencil behind it."...

♣ As she watched me struggle to pop the childproof cap off a bottle of medicine, my eight-year-old daughter asked, "Why do they even have childproof caps?...

Kids hate medicine."...

Good Morning, Every body......Hope everyone's having a great
weekend.....Better then mine, anyway.......................................

The Farm across the way............................................................

Murphy want's to play........he's always ready for some fun.........

Hey !! We're always ready to eat..................................................

Just awhile longer.......................................................................

Now this a laptop...........................................What can I say ?

........................................................................................................

♥ My wife and I were having a very hypothetical discussion: In the unlikely event that Hollywood made a movie based on our lives, we wondered what stars would play us...

"Who would you pick to portray you?" she asked me...

I thought about it for a minute, then answered, "Robert De Niro."...

"In that case," she said, "I'll play myself." ...

♥ Snow was falling heavily the day I decided to visit a car dealership...

I was confident I'd get a great deal, figuring the salesmen would be desperate for customers on such a lousy day...

Sure enough, when I entered the showroom, I was the only client...

But my hope of getting a good deal quickly faded with the salesman's first words...

"Boy," he said jovially, "you must want a new car real bad to come out on a day like this."...

♥ So much for customer service...

As an administrative assistant at a chiropractic office, I called an insurance company to verify benefits for a patient...

Although the call was important, I couldn't reach a human being, only a recording...

"Thank you for calling," said the message...

"Our office will be closed until three o'clock as we enjoy our Customer Appreciation Week Celebration."..

♥ I explained to my Kids that a metaphor compares two unlike objects that have similar characteristics...

Thinking about the fact that I'm always punctual, I wrote on the overhead, "I am a clock."..

I asked my kids why I would draw this comparison...

One of the kids piped up, "Because you get ticked off!" ...

Good Morning.....Well...the weekend is here.............................
Have a great one, every one........................................................






Lovers?..... anyone we know?......................................................






The Hamdog. Take one hot dog, roll it in flattened burger meat, fry it, top it with cheese, chili, and a fried egg and kiss your keester goodbye.







We got a bunch of Look out, pictures to look at...........................

Hope there's no cow patties down there......................................

Now this would be scary......

Damn it....I told you not to get too close........

♥ Four-year-old Jacob was thrilled when he and his family moved out of a cramped apartment and into a house..

Jacob got his own bedroom and no longer had to share a room with his one-year-old sister Tia..

Six months after the move, his father Thom sat Jacob down and said, "I have great news..

You're going to have a baby brother."..

"Will I be sharing my room with him?" Jacob asked..

Thom nodded, saying "Big brother and little brother together..

"Jealous that his sister would still have a room to herself, Jacob, now five, groused, "I wish you could save your receipt so you can return him for a girl."..

♥ Problems with my laptop required calling the dreaded company help line..

The service rep, based in another country, did not speak English very well..

So I tried to explain it as simply as possible:.

"I can't get the computer to work."..

"Ah, I see," he responded..

"You are unable to transport your computer to your place of employment."..

♥ If I had a nickel for every man who said he didn't mind being a grandfather but he hated the thought of sleeping with a grandmother, I'd start a fund for retired grandmothers..

♥ People all over the world are celebrating Obama’s victory..

Sarah Palin watched the Russians celebrating from her house..

♥ Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer..

Good Morning......We've had a good week weather wise............
Now it's gonna change for a crappy weekend.............................






Dis my buddy.........






Look at my friend.........







I get a kiss from my buddy.....................








Art ? ?..................









I wish would look what my buddy makes me do...........










I an't you buddy, and say it one more time, and you get pecked..





♥ The wheel of my grocery cart was making a horrible scraping sound as I rolled it through the supermarket..

Nevertheless, when I finished my shopping and saw a cartless woman, I offered it up, explaining, "It makes an awful noise, but it works."..

"That's okay," she said, taking it, "I have a husband at home like that." ..





♥ Married 35 years, my brother and sister-in-law, Joe and Fran, were chatting with another couple..

Joe admired his friend's ornate gold and diamond ring and lamented that all he had was a gold washer, indicating his plain gold wedding band..

The following December a small jeweler's box appeared under the Christmas tree for Joe..

When he opened it, he found an expensive gold and diamond ring..

Thanking Fran for the beautiful gift, he added, "You really shouldn't have spent so much money on me."..

"Oh, I didn't," she replied. "I took it out of your top dresser drawer..

It's the ring I gave you for our 25th wedding anniversary."





♥ I was in the post office mailing a parcel to a family friend serving in Afghanistan..

The young woman waiting on me asked the value of the parcel and whether or not I needed to insure it..

"I'm not sure," I replied..

"The box is full of gummy bears, trail mix, tarts and granola bars for my friend serving in Afghanistan."..

A voice behind me announced, "Priceless!" ..





♥ In his nineties, George Burns said, "Everybody thinks all I do is stand up and tell jokes..

The jokes are easy; it's the standing up that's hard."..

Good Morning, Everyone. We're having some great days






Lake?....Who needs deep water or a boat!...................................






I don't need a tractor, She's cheaper to run...............................







I don't need two trucks, when I can load it all on one!..............

Truck?...Who needs a truck?....Heck! I can carry anything......

I also don't need to hire a mover....I can load my car................

O.K....Boy's lets give it the old heave ho !......................................

♥ I have just been in Beijing and found out where the best Chinese food is.

It's in New York City!

♥ Why does a woman have to resort to plastic surgery to keep her youth while a man keeps his by giving her money, cars, and diamonds?.........

♥ Top Five Signs That Your Family SUV Is Too Big...................

5. The kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."..

4. Before driving anywhere, you have to file a parade permit..

3. It serves as a carport for your Camry...................................

2. Your husband, riding shotgun, is in a different area code..

1. The fuel gauge doubles as a fan............................................

♥ The chest X-ray showed I had pimples on my left ventricle. .

I said, "Doc, what does that mean?"..

He said, "You're still a teenager at heart." ,,

Good Morning...Everyone!.... Well the Election is over.............
Special "Lady"......I hope you get rid of the Virus......................






One of the greatest secrets to a long,happy life is having both patience and wisdom.

It's all about knowing when to step forward and when to defer,no matter how much you want something.










I hate to get out of my warm bed................................................






Well, now it's time to brush the teeth........................................









Now......for my acorn flavored coffee.........................................








Now some Cat food?...................................................................

Now.....It's game time, and I'm winning.......................................

♥ Bill Clinton campaigned with Barack Obama last night.

At one point he said, “This man should be our president.”

He hasn’t said that since he campaigned with Hillary.






♥ I was headed to the dentist's early one morning, but when I pulled up to a parking meter, I realized I didn't have any change.

As I got out of my car, I saw a parking attendant heading my way.

I called out to him that I was going to get some change for the meter and asked him not to give me a ticket.

He said that if the meter wasn't plugged by the time he got to it, I would get a ticket.

Quickly running into a nearby coffee shop, I ordered a coffee.

The waitress, seeing the bill in my hand, asked if I had anything smaller.

"No", I said, "I'm sorry, I don't."

"It's your lucky day, then" she said, handing me the coffee.

"We don't have any change, so your coffee is on the house!"






♥ "Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."

~Johnny Carson~






♥ Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.






♥ While picking up my mail in my building, I encountered a senior gentleman leaning on his cane.

As he retrieved his mail, it all slipped out of his hand and landed on the floor.

I said he must have some very heavy cheques in his mail.

His response was: "What cheques? These are love letters!"

O. K....Good Morning....Finally Election day...glad it's over !...

Got tired of the Whining and bad mouthing........Why ??







All we want to do is play and eat.......same as everyone else.....







We're watching the two nuts eating .........................................

We're watchin that Lion......he looks mean.........

I which I could growl.......Then I could sound mean................

I'm here lookin for a Hotdog......................................................

Hurry up and take the picture! I gotta Go...............................

♥ Parents are expected to participate in their children's education, and my friends were no exception.

Their sixth grade daughter, Irene, generally worked at the dining-room table before dinner, and her mom and dad helped when she encountered problems.

One day after school, Irene ran into the house waving a paper in the air.

"Hey, Mom, great news!" she announced.

"There were only three mistakes on my math assignment.

You made one, Dad made one, and I made one."

♥ Carl and his wife Shelly discussed their jobs nightly at dinner.

Shelly had recently started working for a pharmaceutical company, and she was excited about her new position.

At a parents' night at school, they were chagrined when they heard their son Braden announce to his kindergarten class, "My daddy is a policeman and my mommy sells drugs."






♥ Most businesses like that our credit card machines automatically print "Thank you, please come again" at the bottom of receipts..

Though one guy called to ask if I could take it off..

"Sure," I said. "But do you mind my asking why?"..


"It just seems inappropriate," he answered......

"We're a funeral home." ..






♥ operating Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.

"I operated on Mr. Hey the other day," said the surgeon.

"What for?" asked his colleague.

"About $17,000."

"What did he have?"

"Oh... About $17,000."

Good Morning..... I hope everyone had a good weekend..........

We need to find a cure, bad......Too many dieing......................

Amen! to that...........................................................................

So thats what a million bucks looks like.....................................

It would look even better in my wallet........................................

I'd like to reach out, and touch someone................................

Been up all night ? getting the dog ready....................................

Boy!.....he's up and at them..got plenty get up and go...............

♥ At the dry cleaning shop of a local Marine base, I overheard a young Marine describe in great detail how he wanted his uniform cleaned and pressed..


When he finished, the clerk asked him, "Are you getting an award, or do you have an important function to attend?"..

"Nothing like that," the Marine said..

"I'm going home on leave, and my little brother is taking me to his second-grade class for show-and-tell." .

♥ Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing.

♥ When I was growing up, we ate what was on the table and then asked, "What was it?"

♥ In the examination paper the Professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance.

Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The Professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience.

God did not assist you."

♥ Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. ~~~..

♥ Christmas shoppers are people who are caught up in the spirit of brotherly shove.