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Opppps.....any body wanna buy a used new car?.......
Look out!!.........
Arrrrr, Mate...............................................................
Watch out for the Honey bees ! stings hurt..................
They my breakfast........................................................
I can't get woke up this morning...................................
Talk about your sleep...................................................
There was a notice that appeared in my mailbox.
It told me I was required to go to court as a witness against someone whose name I did not recognize.
Calling for more information, I found out my notice was for reporting a driver who had illegally passed my stopped school bus—
ten years ago when I had been driving a bus part time.
The appearance date was the same time as my night class, so I called to see if my court appearance could be rescheduled.
Two days later someone returned my call.
"We cannot push the date back," they said. The reason?
"The accused is entitled to a speedy trial."
Teacher: Describe the Digestive System in one sentence?
Student: It starts with right hand & ends with left hand.
Childhood development was the focus of my master of nursing.
In the course of our studies, we were exposed to various tools that could be used to assess how a child was growing, developing and coping.
I was in an ideal situation as I had a five-year-old daughter at home, and sometimes in the evening I'd ask if she'd like to play with certain toys or draw me a picture that related to my studies.
One evening after I had proposed a new activity, Laura wondered if it was part of my schoolwork, too.
When I said it was, she sternly asked, "Does your teacher know I do your homework for you?"
A friend of mine is responsible for alumni relations at his high school alma mater.
Last fall, a member of the Class of ‘86 returned the standard alumni questionnaire with this response:
Marital Status: Not good
Wife’s Name: Plaintiff
Despite his mother's urgings to hurry, my grandson Daniel informed her that he was 14 years old and perfectly capable of being on time for his first day of high school.
Just as he went out the door, however, his bus sailed by.
He sheepishly returned to ask his mom for a ride.
She paraphrased the words he had spoken minutes before: At 14 he shouldn't have any problems getting to school on his own.
Daniel got the next bus, but just missed the connecting one.
As he stood watching its taillights disappear, he groaned aloud, "Oh, God, please don't let me be late for my first day of high school."
At that moment a car pulled up to the curb and Daniel's minister offered him a lift.
That afternoon, when he told his mom what had happened, Daniel concluded, "There really is a God, and boy, does He ever work fast!"
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
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