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I'm hungry......Anything eatible around here ?.........................
Well , I'm hungry , too................................................................
I'm looking too............................................................................
I got my protection......................................................................
I'm a hiddin..................................................................................
I hope I an't food !........................................................................
On the way to spend the weekend with us, our grandchildren noticed a bright star in the sky.
Our daughter, Ree, told them that it was Mars, which was at its closest and brightest in many thousands of years.
She went on to provide a simplified explanation of the solar system suitable for her young listeners in the back seat.
Ree ended her explanation with, "We live on a planet called Earth."
After a long pause, my four-year-old grandson asked, "What planet does Grandpa live on?"
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"Life has got a habit of not standing hitched.
You got to ride it like you find it.
You got to change with it.
If a day goes by that don't change some of your old notions for new ones, that is just about like trying to milk a dead cow." (Woody Guthrie)
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How come the most lucrative endorsement deals go to the best- performing male athletes and the best-looking female ones?
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I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent.
On the windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver.
"I feel terrible," the woman apologized when I called.
"I hit your car as I was pulling into the next parking spot."
"Please, don't worry," I said to her.
"I'm sure our insurance companies will take care of everything."
"Thank you for your understanding," she said.
"You're so much nicer than the man I hit on the way out."
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I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.
He turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD"!
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