Sept. 11 2001......."Lest we forget" ................................................
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I'm watching this dumb cat dancing ...........................................
He stinks......................................................................................
Now this is bad.............................................................................
Just wait till he stops..........I got my eye on him.........................
Now..I told you don't sing wif him................................................
We all need help.........................................................................
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"In a speech, Barack Obama said he's distantly related to the famous 19th century gunslinger Wild Bill Hickok.
After hearing this, John McCain said, "Big deal, I went to high school with him." -Conan O'Brien
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Politics is not the art of the possible.
It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
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One morning I was waiting for a subway train when I suddenly felt a hand in my pocket.
I turned around and asked, "What in the world are you doing?"
He simply replied, "Looking for a light."
"Well why didn't you just ask me?" I questioned dumbfounded.
He said, "Dude, I don't talk to strangers."
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A young son was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.
When the dinner was nearly over, the boy went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father, who passed it to a guest.
The boy came in with a second piece of pie and again watched his father give it to a guest.
This was too much for the boy, who said, "It's no use, Dad.
The pieces are all the same size."
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A client recently brought her two cats to the veterinary clinic for their annual checkup.
One was a small-framed, round tiger-striped tabby, while the other was a long, sleek black cat.
She watched closely as I put each on the scale.
"They weigh about the same," I told her.
"That proves it!" she exclaimed.
"Black does make you look slimmer.
And stripes make you look fat."
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America has drive-in theaters, drive-in supermarkets, drive-in restaurants, and drive-in banks.
What it needs now are more drive-in parking places.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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