Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....Friends and neighbours...................................

☼

Just chillin out............................................................................

Me Too.........................................................................................

Yah, Me three......until some food comes by...............................

Alright....Chill somewere else, not on my fence!........................

See why I chill out in the tree?...................................................

I think he needs a hair cut..........................................................

☼

Our statistics class is held in a room that was originally one half 

of a large lecture hall.

 

My professor arrived late one day and quickly hooked up the 

microphone, but as he began the lecture, he realized it wasn't 

working. 

He turned the volume to its highest point, shouted into the mike 

and then banged it on the table.

Suddenly our door was ripped open. 

The professor from the next room ran in, grabbed the microphone 

and turned it off.

 

Only then did my professor realize he had accidentally picked 

up the wrong microphone and had nearly deafened the students 

in the adjoining room.

 

☼

We were thoroughly confused. 

While transcribing medical audiotapes, 

my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis:

 

"This man has pholenfrometry." 

Knowing nothing about that particular condition, 

she double-checked with the doctor. 

After listening to the tape, he shook his head. 

"This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree." 

☼

Classified ad:

 

Happy Vasectomy Richard............

Your loving wife and children, Chris, Aida, George, Carol, Yolanda, 

Joan, Shirley, Susan, Anita, Aileen, Jackie, Sheila, Bruce, Dean, 

Frank, and Maxine.

☼

Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son 

down and broke the news to him.

"I'm going to be away for a long time," I told him.

 

"I'm going to Iraq."

"Why?" he asked. "Don't you know there's a war going on over 

there?" 

☼

I was talking to my doctor about a weight loss-patch I had seen 

advertised.

 

Supposedly, you stick it on and pounds melt away. 

"Does it work?" I asked.

"Sure" he said, "if you put it over your mouth." 

☼

Teach a child to be polite and courteous, and when he grows up, 

he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.