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You woke me up from a bad dream............................................
Now I'm scared.............................................................................
Scared the hair off me...............................................................
A pretty.......................................................................................
Time to eat, and play..................................................................
Not me.... I'm tired, from being up last night............................
I'm taking a sand bath.....kills fleas..they stone each other.......
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On my birthday I got a really funny card from a friend.
It joked about how our bodies might be getting older, but our minds were still "tarp as shacks."
I wanted to thank the friend who sent the card, but I couldn't.
She forgot to sign it.
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Since both his parents work a night shift, before my five-year- old grandson, Drew, started kindergarten, he was taught by his mother how to set his alarm clock, how to turn it off, then to wash, dress and go to the kitchen, where breakfast would be ready.
One morning, his parents were woken up when the school phoned to say Drew hadn't arrived.
They rushed to his room and found him sitting on his bed, fully dressed, watching TV.
"Why didn't you wake me?" his mother asked.
"Why don't you get an alarm clock, like me?" was his innocent reply.
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On an evening when my parents were dining in a Chinese restaurant with two of their close friends, Dad was showing his skill in the use of chopsticks.
In addition to picking up a piece of beef and a snow pea, he demonstrated his prowess by picking up a tiny morsel of rice.
Turning to the others at the table, he asked if there was anything else they would like to see him pick up.
"Yes," said his friend.....
"The check."
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I heard they were installing mistletoe at the baggage check-in at the local airport.
That way you can kiss your luggage goodbye.
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During the college speech course I taught, I spoke about a Chinese student who, after moving to the United States, decided she wanted an English name to honor hernew home.
"She chose the name Patience," I told the class, "because she wanted to be reminded to be patient.
Every time someone called her name, the message was reinforced."
I asked the students what names they would select for themselves.
After considering the question, one young man raised his hand and said, "Rich."
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Definition of a prenuptial agreement: Paper a lawyer prepares to protect the party of the first part from the party of the second part should they discover the party's over.
When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.
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