Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, on this T.G.I.F. day.............................................
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It seems all I do is wash and dry diapers.................................

Get outta my yard.......................................................................

All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the ............

Feeding time at the zoo ??...........................................................

Damn....your breath smells non too sweet !................................

I watched the Olympics...............................................................

Oh, No !.....Not me.......................................................................

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While my daughter's husband was stationed overseas, Her four-year-old daughter decided that she needed a baby brother.

"Good idea," She told her."

But don't you think we should wait till your father's home?"

She had a better idea.

"Why don't we just surprise him?"

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In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used actually belonged to our drill instructor.

For instance, he referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash," and to the racks we slept in as "my racks."

One time when we were all whispering in the bathroom whilemaking "head calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us.

To our surprise, he suddenly yelled, "Why do I hear voices in my head?!"

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Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up.

She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom.Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly.

Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains.

It read, "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

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When I worked as a medical intern in a hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.

It took a while before I understood that he had no health insurance.

Since he was a Worl War II vet, I had him transported to a VA hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.

The next day, my patient was back, along with this note from the VA admitting nurse: "Right war, wrong side."

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Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.

The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could.

Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?”