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Just looking for some food................................................
Me too.but I gotta go on the diet tomorrow..........................
I'm on no diet......and I'm looking for Dinner..........................
I see you and I'm watching.......................................
I'm a hiding, so's he won't know I'm a dinner.........................
Every body likes Maxine...........................................................
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My musician son decided to play guitar at his own wedding reception.
That day, tuning his strings was taking longer than usual.
"It's a little harder to do with a ring on," he apologized to the waiting guests.
That's when a man called out,....
"Everything's harder with a ring on."
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The old family physician being away on vacation, entrusted his practice to his son - a recent medical student.
When the old man returned, the youngster told him among other things, that he cured Miss Ferguson, an aged and wealthy spinster, of her chronic indigestion.
"My boy," said the old doctor, "I'm proud of you, but Miss Ferguson's indigestion is what put you through college."
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At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"
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The teacher spent the entire hour reading to her class about the bison family.
When she had finished, she said, "Name some things that are very dangerous to get near to and have horns."
A little boy raised his had and spoke up without hesitation: "Automobiles!"
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The waitress was trying hard to win over the stern old dowager but met resistance at every turn.
At meal's end she brought the check, smiled sweetly and said, "Have a nice weekend."
But the dowager was implacable.
"I'm afraid," she snapped, "I've made other plans."
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I recommend that you don't buy a Stradivarius.
He stopped making parts for them.
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