Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.......

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Waiting for a flight, a woman was seated in the waiting area with two boys.

The younger one asked, "Mommy, when we get home, will you take us to the zoo?"

"Perhaps," she answered.

"What does 'perhaps', mean?" he asked.

The older brother answered, "Not likely to happen."

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Passing a miniature golf course on a brutally humid day, I saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole.

"Who's winning?" I shouted.

"I am," said one kid.

"Me" said another.

"No" me," yelled the third.

Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, "Their mother is."

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On a visit to her father's grave recently, Ruby noticed this disquieting notice posted in the cemetery: "Please carry out what you bring in."

Bartenders and waiters have heard 'em all.

But what we rarely hear is someone turning down a drink.

"Nah, I better not have one," said one man after I offered him a glass of wine.

"I have the world's worst stomach.

I eat so many antacids that if I were to keel over dead right this minute, I'd leave my own chalk outline."

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I'm not much of a gift wrapper, especially compared with the women who work at our shop.

But I was the only one available the day a customer wanted a gift wrapped for his mother.

"Sorry," I said, handing back a box covered with wrinkled, oddly taped paper.

"It's wrapped, but it sure looks like a guy did it."

"Great," he said happily.

"Now my mom will think I did it myself."