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O.K. were is the driver of this rig?...........
I bet he has a tear in his eye..................................
Some parks don't have wi-fi.................................
Look out!........................................................
I tried to warn ya.................................................
Wise words from Maxine..............................................
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The corner shop baker was a true artist when it came to making birthday cakes.
One customer asked him, "Can you make a birthday cake for my wife, she's an optician?"
He agreed and produced a birthday cake in the perfect detail of a winking eye.
His next customer said, "Can you make a birthday cake for my husband, he's a dentist."
He agreed and produced a cake in the shape of an open mouth, including the teeth and tongue.
At that moment another customer began to leave his shop, when the baker asked, "Can I help you?"
The lady turned and said, "No, I don't think so.
It's my husband birthday today, but he's a proctologist".
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An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.
The judge turned to him and asked, "Where were you on the night of October to April?"
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One day I called my broker about a stock that had been down in the dumps.
"Do you think I'll live to see it go higher?" I asked.
"Frankly," he said, "I wish you were a younger man."
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Our granddaughter Sarah lived in residence her first year at Temple University.
At the end of the school year three of her friends...all boys, all Jewish...found an apartment and asked her to share.
“But there's one condition,” warned Ben, their spokesperson.
“If one of my grandparents phones and you answer, say you're Jewish.”
“Fine,” agreed Sarah. “
And if one of my grandparents phones and one of you answers, say you're a girl.”
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A Royal Air Force pilot returned to active duty after getting sex change surgery to become a woman.
There were no problems in the air.
But for some reason—after landing—the pilot no longer knew how to parallel park the plane.
My brother and I were stopped at a red light when a landscaping truck drove past, its entire back laden with fresh green sod.
"Wow," he deadpanned.
"I wish I had enough money to send my lawn out to get cut."
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