Wednesday, March 12, 2008

When you post your picture on the internet watch
out for the background.....



Keep on...and your gonna break something.......



I don't give a hoot................

~~~

HOW MUCH IS A BILLION?
What's the difference between a millionaire and a billionaire?

A million seconds is 13 days.A billion seconds is 31 years!

A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.

A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.

A billion dollars ago was yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.


Two women were old friends.

They had both been married to their husbands for a long time.
As they sat in the living room one day drinking coffee, as was their custom, one of them expressed concern because she thought her husband didn't find her attractive anymore.


"As I get older he doesn't even bother to look at me!" she cried.


"I'm so sorry for you," replied the other,

"As I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day."
"Yes," the distraught woman looked up,

"but your husband's an antique car collector!"


A man in a bar has a couple of beers, and the bartender tells him he owes $4.00.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

"Okay," says the bartender, "If you said you paid, you did."

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.

The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."
Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.
The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink high-balls when, suddenly, the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight.

Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did.

The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."
"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds.

"Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."


A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"

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