Tues. Jan. 22ad.~~~

What are you lookin at ?...............
Peep...Peep...Got anything to eat ?
We're buddies...............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After pumping gas at a self-serve station, my brother realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the attendant what had happened, then asked his wife, who was in the car, to get out and wait at the station. He then jumped in the car and took off. About 15 minutes later, he returned, paid the attendant and explained the whole thing to his wife. "But why did you leave me there?" "I had to leave something for collateral......"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A grandmother was telling her grandson what her own childhood was like. As she reminisced, she said things like:"We used to skate outside on a pond." "I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. "We rode our pony.""We picked wild raspberries in the woods. "The little boy stared at his grandmother, wide-eyed, taking it all in. At last he said, "Grandma, I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nowadays they spend twenty thousand dollars for a school bus to pick the kids up at the door so they don't have to walk. Then they spend two hundred thousand dollars for a gym so they can get some exercise. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~00~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A husband returns home from work one night to discover that his wife is missing. He spends the next two days looking for her, only to come home on the second night and find his spouse sitting in the kitchen, eating some pasta.
"You're alive!" he cries. "Where have you been all this time?"
"These four men kidnapped me and had wild sex with me for a week," she replies.
"But you've only been gone two days"
"Yeah, I'm just here to get something to eat then I'm Goin Back".