Sunday, June 28, 2015


Silly Goose...

I don't know...
I grew up eating these.....


I don't know if laughter is the "best" medicine, 
but I do like that it doesn't have a $35 co-pay. 

Senior's Texting Code for all my blogger Friends; 
BMH - Broke My Hip 
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner 
TOT - Texting on Toilet 
LOL - Little Old Lady 
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out 
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was 
CBM - Covered By Medicare 
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement 
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To 
BFF - Best Friends Funeral 
IMHO - Is My Hearing Aid On 
ROFLACGU - Rolling On The Floor Laughing, Can't Get Up 
TTML - Talk To Me Louder 
BTW - Bring The Wheelchair 
ATD - At The Doctors 
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth 
WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again 
OMSG - Oh My, Sorry Gas 
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low 
BFF - Best Friend Fell 

“I started dating the girl across the street. 
I know what people say, but honestly, lawn 
distance relationships aren't that hard.”

When they put "unknown" at the end of a quote, 
that means they probably don't know how to spell 
anonymous - 

Just scrached my crotch while trying to 
swat a fly and four people told me I was a good 

As I was going through my wallet, 
for a second I thought I got robbed... 
And then I remembered I got gas. 

I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 37 years. 
That is 13,505 sit-ups. 
And not ONE ab to show for it.

I just gave my secretary a baby shower. 
Well, a potential baby shower. 
If you know what I mean. 

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the 
morning and was always late for work. 
His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire 
him if he didn't do something about it. 
So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill 
and told him to take it before he went to bed. 
Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the 
morning by almost two hours. 
He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully 
to work. 
"Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!" 
"That's all fine" said the boss, 
"But where were you yesterday?"

Scientists have discovered that people will believe 
anything when you say "scientists have discovered 

Sometimes I think I should introduce myself 
to my neighbors just so they don't describe me to the 
police as "Quiet and keeps to himself."