Ugly Dog...
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♥
I was going through airport customs and they asked me,
"Do you have any firearms?"
Apparently, "What do you need?" wasn't the answer they
were looking for.
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If Plan A doesn't work, don't sweat it.
There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
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A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to
construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail,
defense.
There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand
and said he could make a sentence with them;
"The cow jumped over defense and detail went
over defeat."
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She wanted more communication and I wanted
less.
So we compromised and now we communicate
more or less....
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The early bird gets the worm.
But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until
10:30.
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“Even the smallest egg farms are multi-layer organisations.”
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My doctor told me:
"I can't do any thing for your illness, it's hereditary."
I told him to send the bill to my father.....
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You might be a redneck if...
You refer to the time you won a free case of oil
as the "day my ship came in."
Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at
a high school sports event.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You own all the components of soap on a rope
except the soap.
The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em
in the shade.
You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
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A homeowner hears a knock at the door.
"Who's there"
"Atch"
"Atch Who?"
"God Bless You"
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when
you really like someone?
That’s common sense leaving your body.
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