The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments
posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not
Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building
full of lawyers, judges and politicians...
It creates a hostile work environment.
What's another term for...
a camper zipped up in a sleeping bag?
A ZOMBIE BURRITO!!!
Q: Why are there no televisions in Afghanistan?
A: Because of the Telly-ban!
Stone Mountain officials in Georgia just announced they
passed an order to change the Confederate Memorial carving
of Robert E Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis to
Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian.
Following the leak of of Kim Kardashian's
nude pics, her personal assistant has been sacked
for the delay.
I just gave my wife a last minute gift for her birthday.
I put the toilet seat down.
Preventing childhood obesity
is as easy as taking candy from a baby.
I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the
She was a bouncer.
I've been feeling down for so long that I finally
decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts
then waited for the profound wisdom of the
psychiatrist to make me feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took
some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few
minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of
delight and said, "Ummmmm, I think your
problem is low self-esteem.
It is very common among losers."
Motels 1 through 5 must've really been dumps.
Seems like most rioting in the world happens in
countries with the least bacon.