Monday, December 22, 2014



Boxing legend Muhammad Ali in hospital 
with pneumonia. 
6 nurses are said to have suffered mild 
concussion after his attempts to shake their 

When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in 
Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, 
"It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you." 
The company thought that the word "embarazar" 
(to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad 
read: "It won’t leak in your pocket and make 
you pregnant."

I was in a bar last weekend and probably more 
than just a tad drunk. 
I mistakenly picked up a 'Shemale'. 
I brought 'her' back to my motel room. 
Wow, that was a real shocker! 
In hindsight, I guess her Adam's Apple should 
have given me a clue. 
But I just figured she had a goiter or something. 

I'd have more sympathy for Sony's alleged loss 
of $200 million if that weren't the cost of like 
three large popcorns at any movie theater. 

Two muslims have crashed a speed boat into the 
Thames Barrier, Police think this could be the 
start of Ram a Dam.

Did you hear about the new household cleaner 
just put on the market?
It's called "Bachelor."
Because it works fast, and leaves no ring. 

Paul is coming over tonight.
Paul smith or Paul who puts ketchup on 
[car pulls into driveway covered in ketchup] 

Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. 
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like 
cottage cheese. 
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look 
like regular cheese. 
Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk 
anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is 
Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is 
blue cheese but you realize you've never 
purchased that kind.

A Jewish guy's mother gives him two sweaters 
for Hanukkah. 
The next time he visits her, he makes sure to 
wear one.
As he walks into the house, his mother frowns 
and asks, "What -- you didn't like the other one?"

General Motors had a very famous fiasco in 
trying to market the Nova car in Central and 
South America. 
"No va" in Spanish means, "It Doesn’t Go".