Tuesday, November 4, 2014



A wife asks her husband: "What do you like most 
in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looks at her from head to toe and replied: 
“I like your sense of humor!”

Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good ole boys from 
R-ville, were sitting' on the front porch drinking 
beer when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of
sod went by.
"I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery," 
said Bubba.
"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.
"Send my grass out to be mowed," 
answered Bubba.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a 
brick wall in a game of tennis. 

A park ranger is on the rim of the Grand Canyon, 
looking at the bottom of the canyon through his 
He sees something that doesn't look quite right, 
so gets on his horse and follows the trail to the 
He rides over and sees a dead burro with 
something underneath. 
When he pushes the burro aside, he sees a dead 
Hispanic { Mexican } man flat on his back. 
When turns the man over, he sees the man's 
name on the back of his t-shirt, which reads: 

“I felt super exhausted after giving blood. 
It's such a draining procedure.”

 The Top Signs That Your Co-worker Is A 
Computer Hacker;
 You ticked him off once and your next phone bill 
was $20,000.
 He's won the Publisher's Clearing House 
sweepstakes three years running.
 Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
 When his computer starts up, you hear, 
"Good Morning, Mr. President."
 You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that 
Visa card now, jerk."

Cindy and Kathy, both residing in an old age 
home, we taking a walk in the park when they 
suddenly saw an old guy running, without any 
clothes on.
Cindy said to Kathy, "I don't have my glasses on. 
Did you see what that guy was wearing?"
Kathy replied, "I didn't, but whatever it was, it 
needs ironing!"

 If I was named Edward Normus, 
I'd use my first name's initial and my last name 
as much as I possibly could. 

If animals have Facebook account these are most
 likely their status…
COCKROACH : Manage to skip from some one′s 
foot step…
CAT : My 7th child is asking who is her dad..?? 
What shall I tell her..?? I don’t even remember…
MOSQUITO : I am HIV positive……this all due to 
wrong sucking…
CHICKEN : If tomorrow I'm not updating my 
status means I am being served in KFC…
PIG : Oh gosh..!! 
They throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…

When Joseph made a small mathematical error 
in his MIS report, his boss Mr. Jones did not miss 
the opportunity to demean him in front of his 
Mr. Jones said to Joseph in an angry tone,"If you 
had 4 bananas, and I asked you to give me 2, 
how many would you be left with?"
Without hesitation, Joseph replied, "If YOU had 
asked, I would still be left with 4 bananas."

I'm not saying your house is haunted, 
but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy 
Bears while you were in the bathroom.