Thursday, November 6, 2014



Two fellows were sitting in a coffee shop...
suddenly the Town's Fire Alarm went off . 
One jumped up and headed for the door ... 
his friend shouted, "Hey, Tom, 
I didn't know you were a fireman!" 
Tom replied, "I'm not, but my girlfriend's 
husband is..."

Cats won't give away your position when someone 
knocks on the door. 
They hide with you, like understanding furry 

The lawyer pays a visit to his client on death 
row, and says to him, "I have some good news 
for you."
The client says, "What good news can there 
possibly be? 
You lost my case, I was convicted of a murder 
I did not commit, and I've been sentenced to 
die in the electric chair!"
The lawyer says, "Yes, but I got the voltage 

Q: What did the blonde say after reading the 
name tag pinned to the front of a chesty waitress? 
A: " 'Debbie'..............that's cute. 
What did you name the other one?"

My parents used to stuff me with candy when I 
was a kid. 
M&M’s, Jujubes, SweeTarts. 
I don’t think they wanted a child; I think they 
wanted a piñata.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.

Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, 
this chicken was somewhere between 7' to 10' tall.

Dad: Son do you know why we named you "
Titanic Hitting an Iceberg?"
Titanic Hitting an Iceberg: Because I w–

Lord, walk beside me with your arm on my 
shoulder and your hand over my mouth.