Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

 Q: What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney
 A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.

You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person,
and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat?
And they look at you and say they don't know.
And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know.
I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.

 

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 Q: What's the difference between lawyers and
 buzzards?
 A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.

 

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A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and
worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient.
“How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you
since yesterday.”

 

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Flex came home from school and told his mother,
"I had a big fight with Sidney.
He called me a sissy."
 "What did you do?" the mother asked.
"I hit him with my purse!"

 

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 Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a
demon from hell?
 A: No changes occur.

 

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 Q: What's the difference between God and an
attorney?
 A: God doesn't think he's an attorney.

 

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The very first Woolworth's five-and-dime opened
on this day in 1879.
They went out of business in 1997.
You know why?
They were nickel and dimed to death.

 

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Business One-liners .......
The repairman will never have seen a model quite
like yours before.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
The simplest subjects are the ones you don't know
anything about.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you
will have to catch up!
The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease;
sometimes it gets replaced.
The stomach expands to accommodate the amount
of junk food available.....

 

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