Friday, February 18, 2011

Good Morning, Friends, neighbors and other readers...
Seems we're having a heat wave...
72º yesterday... 54º this morning...

Have a good breakfast....
Boy they look good....

Coffee? Petewete??

Gotta have a Sunrise, this was yesterdays...

I believe you do....

Dancing in the street??
This early??

This guy is ready...but no one to dance with...

Yeah, right!!

Oh, No....not Jerry.......

That's about right!!

Well...time to leave now....

~~ Micheal Obama is going to have a seminar on how to get rid of the fattening food at McDonalds.
The entrance tickets will be $1000.00 dollars each person in advance and must be reserved.
The ice cream feed afterward will be held at Dairy Queen and is by invitation only.

~~ A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in
preparation for selling his land, so he went to every house
in his town.
To the houses where the husband was the boss,
he gave a horse.
To the houses where the wife was the boss,
he gave a chicken.
When the farmer arrived at the end of the street,
he met a couple who were outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am," replied the man.
"Well, then, I have a black horse and a brown horse,"
the farmer said.
"Which one would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one..."
"No, no, no... the brown one," interrupted the man's wife.
The farmer shook his head and remarked to the man,
"Here's your chicken."

~~ My sociology professor was discussing the unreasonable expectations
people have.
"We like to believe," he said, "that the people we love will do anything for us.
Climb the highest mountain.
Swim the deepest ocean.
Risk their lives out of love for us."
He singled me out and asked, "Do you think your boyfriend would go into
a burning building to save you?"
"I'm certain he would," I replied....... "He's a fireman."

~~ The wife bought a jar of chocolate body paint which
she wanted me to smother her body with last night.
I wish I'd thought to get the paint roller out the shed.

~~ Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation,
and without warning.
In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the
foundation and first floor.
A silver- haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only
remaining part of the house left above the floor.
The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt.
She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself.
"It was the most amazing was the most amazing thing."
she kept repeating dazedly.
"What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers.
"I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the
plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."

~~ I work in a doctor's office, and part of my job is to perform hearing tests.
One day I was preparing to test a six-year-old patient.
"Do you ever hear ringing in your ears?" I asked.
"Oh, yes," she replied solemnly. "Every day at recess."

~~ My husband, an attorney, is frequently consulted by clients
who, after learning what the cost of legal services will be,
decide to do without his aid.
Recently the elderly minister of a small, struggling church
came in with a legal problem.
After patiently listening to an explanation of my husband's fees,
he left the office with a prudent:
"Thank you, sir, but I believe I'll just pray this one through."

~~ One good thing about getting older is that multi-tasking
becomes easier....... .............You can sneeze, pee, and poop
yourself all at the same time!

~~ When the husband came home from his job, he found his wife crying.
"Your mother insulted me, very much." she sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she's on a vacation
on the other side of the world?"
"I know. But this morning, a letter addressed to you arrived.
I opened it, because I was curious."
"At the end of the letter, it was written:
P.S. Dear Melissa, when you've read this letter,
don't forget to give it to my son."

~~ Some people just aren't happy unless they have
something to complain about.
I stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the beach in California...
an idyllic spot, you would think.
But while I was waiting to check out,
I heard the manager ask another guest, "Did you enjoy your stay?"
"Not really," the man said grimly.
"I'm sorry to hear that," the manager apologized.
"What was the problem?"
"The surf was too loud."

Todays Thought;  "Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that ensures the successful outcome of the venture."

Rae's Trivia....For his act with the Great Moscow Circus, contortionist Hugo Zamoratte dislocates every bone in his body except his fingers, toes and spine... But his body-bending antics went awry during a practice session when he squeezed into a bottle and - wouldn't you just know it - the opening somehow became pinned shut... He was trapped for 40 minutes before he was discovered and set free by a hotel maid.

Well, Friends....I'll be back in two weeks.......Be Safe..

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Good Morning...Good Looking People....
Get the barbie's out and fired up...

Eggs looking good about now......
With biscuits and links.....
Gonna be good...

Yep.... looking great.....

Yep, believe me....I know...

Man,  he looks mean....

A spy.....huh??
I don't know, I think you've been watching to much T.V.

Why yew come knowing on my door??

I'ze comfortible....youse?

Yep....looks like he's got a good home.....

Did you brush your teeth??
Open wide, so I can see......

Flying dog??

Petewete....don't this look good....
I'll leave you some so you'll
have something to chew on while I'm gone....

~~ Petewete was saying how he made it almost all the way home from a New Years Eve party with no problem and just as he turned the last corner some clown stepped on his fingers.

~~ A policeman went up to a street musician and asked,
"Excuse me, sir, do you have a license to play that violin in
the street?"
And the violinist answered, "Well, actually, no."
"In that case I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me."
"Of course, officer.
What would you like to sing?"

~~ Hitchhiker's sign: "Destination Chicago.
Will pay half the gas..... Only economy cars need stop."

~~ Sign in a R-ville shop:
Good home wanted for year old Basset hound...
understands everything I say but ignores it.

~~ Children, like sponges, absorb all your strength and
leave you limp, but then give them a squeeze and you get
it all back.

~~ I want to buy a shotgun for my husband.
Yes, ma'am, does he know what gauge he wants?
No, he doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.

~~ Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank
still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM
card reader.
Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves
having to explain how it's done.
One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every
time she explained it.
I found out why when I overheard her tell one man,
"Strip down facing me."

~~ Never get up in the morning with a long face,
or you'll have that much more to shave.

~~ My daughter, a law school graduate, had scheduled
an appointment to have her wisdom teeth removed
immediately following her semester exams.
After the procedure was over, the oral surgeon came into
the recovery room to tell her everything had gone well and
she could leave soon.
Then he added, "I have to tell you,
I've had people come out of anesthesia talking about just
about everything -- their love lives, embarrassing moments.
Some of them even start swearing at us.
But you're the first patient to have ever given me a lecture
on constitutional law."

~~ I tried a bit of cage fighting last night.
I'm fine but you should see the parakeet!!!

~~ It always seems that when you put peanut butter on a
piece of bread it always lands with the peanut butter side
down and a cat always lands on it's feet.
What happens if you drop a cat with peanut butter on it's

Todays Thought; "Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited while imagination embraces the entire world."

Rae's Trivia... Do ostriches really bury their heads in the sand?.    In popular mythology, the ostrich is famous for hiding its head in the sand at the first sign of danger..      There have been no recorded
observations of this behaviour..  The myth may have resulted from the fact that, from a distance, when ostriches feed they appear to be burying  their head in the sand because they deliberately swallow
sand/pebbles to help grind up their food... When lying down and hiding from predators, the birds are
known to lay their head and neck flat on the ground.. When threatened, ostriches run away, but they can also seriously injure with kicks from their powerful legs..
I was also amazed to find out that ostriches can live up to 70 years and their eggs are the largest of all eggs.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Good Morning...Friends and Neighbors...
Boy, we're having some warm weather...
And we love it....
It's really nice to be able to enjoy the deck again...

Ready for some sausage links, Petewete??
With biscuits, no less....

This guy had a good breakfast...digging a hole
in the middle of the road....!! careful....

Cats get sleepy after they eat....

Okay, Okay....I Fear......
are you happy now ??

I don't know about this guy...
Don't look right......!!

You takes your chance....Skippy.....

I just don't believe that.....

Your gonna have a lump, there!!

Okay, I'll leave now....
I know were I'm not wanted......

~~ Why did God make our butt cracks go up and down instead of side to side?
So when you go down a slide you don't go......

~~ Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat,
a young girl said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize some
poor animal suffered so you could have that?"
Her mother shot her an angry look,
"How dare you talk about your father like that?"

~~ A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he
strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap
and toting a ball and bat.
"I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced.
Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.
"Strike One!" he yelled.
Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again,
"I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"
He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung
again and missed. "Strike Two!" he cried.
The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball
He spit on his hands and rubbed them together.
He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the
greatest hitter in the world!"
Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it.
He missed. "Strike Three!"
"Wow!" he exclaimed.
"I'm also the greatest pitcher in the world!"

~~ An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years
of being away from the church.
There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and
Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since
I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the
confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side.

~~ So how bad is the economy really doing, you ask?
* Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.
* African television stations are now showing......
'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
* Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
* I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
* Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
* They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."
* When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share
a room.
*One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali

~~ One day a bachelor, who was a poor tipper,
walked into his favorite restaurant and ordered lunch.
A new waitress served his meal and received a three cent tip.
When he came in the next day, she thanked him for his '
generosity' and she said she could tell the character of a
diner by the way he tipped.
"Yeah? What can you tell about me?" he asked.
"You put three pennies in a neat row," said the waitress,
"and that shows you are a very tidy person.
The first penny tells me you are frugal and the second tells
me that you are a bachelor."
"That's true," he agreed.
"But what does the third penny tell you?"
"The third penny tells me your father was a bachelor too"

~~ Thomas Gladstone, a stockbroker, received an urgent
phone call one afternoon.
"My name is Walters," the caller announced.
"About twoweeks ago, my wife got this crazy idea and
started walking the street, asking me to procure customers
for her."
"Just a minute,"Gladstone protested.
"You want Dr. Gladstone the psychiatrist.
His name is right below mine in the phone book.
Many people dial me by mistake."
"No mistake," came the reply.
"I want you to invest all the money we're making.

~~ You know....
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says,
'You're only interested in one thing,'
and you can't remember what it is.

~~ The panic-stricken golfer charged into the clubhouse,
grabbed the pro by the arm and said, "You have to help!
I was on the 9th hole and I hit a terrible slice.
The ball sailed right off the course and hit a guy riding a motorcycle.
He lost control and swerved into the path of a truck.
The truck tried to stop but jack- knifed, rolled over and broke apart.
It was carrying hundreds of bee hives and now the angry bees are
attacking everyone in sight.
It's awful! It's a disaster!
What should I do?"
"Well, the first thing is you've got to keep your arms straight and remember
to get your right hand a bit more under the club."


There once was an old man from Esser
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

~~ I had spent the morning trying to persuade our stubborn dogs to stay
out from underfoot, with my son Mitch watching closely.
"Mom, do you know why dogs are better than kids?" he asked finally.
"They don't listen either, but at least they'll eat leftovers."

~~ My girlfriend came down the stairs wearing nothing but
fish net stockings.
I said, "You wanna watch that you don't catch something".

Todays Thought:  There comes a point in your life when you realize:..Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore...And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.........

Rae's Trivia......  What did the Greeks think of parsley?     Parsley is a common herb of the Mediterranean area and was well known to the ancient Greeks.
They considered it too sacred to eat.  Romans did serve it as a garnish and to improve the taste of food.
They believed it had special powers and would keep them sober.

~~ ~~ ~~

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

# 1,210....

Good Morning... Readers....
Well it was nice and warm yesterday... but very windy....
But it sure felt good sitting in the sun....

Looked out the window Sunday evening and the sky was pink...
Never saw that before...

My mouth won't open enought for a bite.....

But I bet his will.....

Watch out....Birdy....
The ceiling cat is always watching .....

Mean Bird......
Will peck you.....

I know.....I have a few....

"Let me in... I want some of that burger"..

Lazy people??

Warm is it??

One way to carry your chair....

Wow...what a difference...


~~ A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter
methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying
scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the
balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards
signed, ’Guess who?’ ”
“But why?”
“I’m a divorce lawyer.”

~~ Cole, my three-year-old son, has difficulty pronouncing the s sound,
particularly at the beginning of a word.
When we came across some animals in a book we were reading,
we took the opportunity to practise this sound.
"This is a sss-snake," Cole said, "This is a sss-skunk, and this is a sss-squirel."
After celebrating his success, we turned the page,
"And what animal is this?" I asked.
With great pride and confidence, he replied, "Sss-gorilla!"

~~ This guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts,
"Ballroom please."
A lady standing in front of him turns around and says,
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you.

~~ Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.

~~ As part of his job as a driver for a florist's shop, my husband Michael,
would dress as Santa for the holiday season.
He was a great hit when making flower deliveries.
Once, Michael popped into a drugstore for a last-minute purchase of his
own and was asked by the clerk if he had air miles.
"What do I need air miles for?" he laughed.
"My reindeers are parked on the roof."

~~ Tod looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked
his father, "Pop, What’s a millennium?" "Well," he muttered,
"I think it’s something like a centennial, only it has more legs."

~~ A cruise ship sinks and three men make it to an uninhabited island.
The first man, a Christian, tears two branches from a palm tree,
creates a cross and prays to the Lord to be saved from the island.
The second man, a Muslim, pulls several fronds from the palm tree,
creates a mat, kneels facing Mecca and prays to Allah to save him.
The third man, a Jew, falls asleep under the palm tree.
The other two can't understand how this man could remain so calm and serene,
so they ask him how he could be so at ease.
He answers: "Two years ago I gave $10,000 to the Jewish Federation.
Last year I gave $20,000.
This year I pledged $30,000.
Don't worry, they'll find me."

~~ DINER: What are your breakfast specials?
WAITRESS: Today we're offering hippopotamus eggs and elephant eggs.
DINER: Give me the hippo eggs.....
I'm tired of elephant yokes.

Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?
Father: Ok, ask.
Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring
doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor
doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.
Father: !!!??????!!!

~~ Player: "I've just had a good idea for strengthening the team."
Manager: "Good! When are you leaving?"

Todays Thought:  Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

Rae's Trivia.... How much counterfeiting went on during the Civil War?      By the end of the Civil War, between one-third and one-half of all U.S. paper currency in circulation was counterfeit.
This served as the catalyst behind the creation of the U.S. Secret Service.
On July 5, 1865, the Secret Service was created under the U.S. Treasury Department.
In less than a decade, counterfeiting was sharply reduced.


Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day!

Good Morning....
Ready for a warm week?
Gonna be windy today...

Go easy on the chocolates....
You know whom I'm speaking about.....
The chocolate lovers......

First thing in the Morning??

Oh, No....not that!....

Yep, I smelled it.....
Made nose wrinkle.....

He's sneaky....
He knows when to do it, so he won't get the blame...

Oh, My GOD....I'm dying here!!

Just what they all need....

I wouldn't do that if I were you.....
Doesn't look safe....

I don't know about this.......

What can I say.......

That bike is hauling alot of weight.....

I don't know if I want a ride in that??

~~ you are a short timer when You wake up hung over in jail..      You have a black eye and bloody knuckles..          Last night was the company Christmas party.

~~ boss was into motivation once he posted a sign which
"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."
I added: "And now you know why too".

~~ yesterday.... I came upon this pretty new temp standing
in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her
I asked if she needed any help and she said,
"Yeah, how does this thing work ?"
I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder.
She stood there a moment with yet another confused
expression, so I said, "Any questions ?"
She said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out ?"
Now I'm looking for a new job..

~~ A guy wuz trying to buy a health insurance policy.
The insurance agent was going down the list of standard
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't never had one. Never."
"Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake.
Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Hell, no. That joker bit me on purpose."

~~ Late on night in the Washington D.C., a mugger wearing
a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and
stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money!" he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this -
I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"

~~ A good education story....
A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine
Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before
the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper
part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the
toughest students in the school.
The smart Aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher
was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see
how tough he really was, before trying any pranks.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new
teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.
When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a
stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead silence... He had no trouble with discipline that year.

~~ what's the black stuff between elephants toes?
slow natives

~~ An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said,
"I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning,
but when I weighed them there was only one pound.
I suggest that you check your scales."
The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied,
"Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son."

~~ Why are New Yorkers so grouchy all the time?
Because the light at the end of their tunnel is New Jersey.

~~ you are a short timer when....
You wake up hung over in jail.
You have a black eye and bloody knuckles.
Last night was the company Christmas party.

~~ I was depressed, Doctor, so I tried to kill myself by
taking 1,000 aspirin.
What happened?
Well, after the first two I felt better.

Todays Thought;  "Our life is what our thoughts make it."

Rae's Trivia... What made the hatter mad?     More than 100 years ago, the felt hat makers of England
used mercury to stabilize wool.     Most of them eventually became poisoned by the fumes,
as demonstrated by the Mad Hatter in Lewis Carroll's  Alice in Wonderland.
Breathing mercury's fumes over a long period of time will cause erethism, a disorder characterized by nervousness, irritability, and strange personality changes.