Good Morning, Friends, neighbors and other readers...
Seems we're having a heat wave...
72º yesterday... 54º this morning...
Have a good breakfast....
Boy they look good....
Gotta have a Sunrise, this was yesterdays...
I believe you do....
Dancing in the street??
This guy is ready...but no one to dance with...
Oh, No....not Jerry.......
That's about right!!
Well...time to leave now....
~~ Micheal Obama is going to have a seminar on how to get rid of the fattening food at McDonalds.The entrance tickets will be $1000.00 dollars each person in advance and must be reserved.
The ice cream feed afterward will be held at Dairy Queen and is by invitation only.
~~ A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in
preparation for selling his land, so he went to every house
in his town.
To the houses where the husband was the boss,
he gave a horse.
To the houses where the wife was the boss,
he gave a chicken.
When the farmer arrived at the end of the street,
he met a couple who were outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am," replied the man.
"Well, then, I have a black horse and a brown horse,"
the farmer said.
"Which one would you like?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one..."
"No, no, no... the brown one," interrupted the man's wife.
The farmer shook his head and remarked to the man,
"Here's your chicken."
~~ My sociology professor was discussing the unreasonable expectations
"We like to believe," he said, "that the people we love will do anything for us.
Climb the highest mountain.
Swim the deepest ocean.
Risk their lives out of love for us."
He singled me out and asked, "Do you think your boyfriend would go into
a burning building to save you?"
"I'm certain he would," I replied....... "He's a fireman."
~~ The wife bought a jar of chocolate body paint which
she wanted me to smother her body with last night.
I wish I'd thought to get the paint roller out the shed.
~~ Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation,
and without warning.
In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the
foundation and first floor.
A silver- haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only
remaining part of the house left above the floor.
The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt.
She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself.
"It was the most amazing thing...it was the most amazing thing."
she kept repeating dazedly.
"What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers.
"I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the
plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."
~~ I work in a doctor's office, and part of my job is to perform hearing tests.
One day I was preparing to test a six-year-old patient.
"Do you ever hear ringing in your ears?" I asked.
"Oh, yes," she replied solemnly. "Every day at recess."
~~ My husband, an attorney, is frequently consulted by clients
who, after learning what the cost of legal services will be,
decide to do without his aid.
Recently the elderly minister of a small, struggling church
came in with a legal problem.
After patiently listening to an explanation of my husband's fees,
he left the office with a prudent:
"Thank you, sir, but I believe I'll just pray this one through."
~~ One good thing about getting older is that multi-tasking
becomes easier....... .............You can sneeze, pee, and poop
yourself all at the same time!
~~ When the husband came home from his job, he found his wife crying.
"Your mother insulted me, very much." she sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she's on a vacation
on the other side of the world?"
"I know. But this morning, a letter addressed to you arrived.
I opened it, because I was curious."
"At the end of the letter, it was written:
P.S. Dear Melissa, when you've read this letter,
don't forget to give it to my son."
~~ Some people just aren't happy unless they have
something to complain about.
I stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the beach in California...
an idyllic spot, you would think.
But while I was waiting to check out,
I heard the manager ask another guest, "Did you enjoy your stay?"
"Not really," the man said grimly.
"I'm sorry to hear that," the manager apologized.
"What was the problem?"
"The surf was too loud."
Todays Thought; "Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that ensures the successful outcome of the venture."
Rae's Trivia....For his act with the Great Moscow Circus, contortionist Hugo Zamoratte dislocates every bone in his body except his fingers, toes and spine... But his body-bending antics went awry during a practice session when he squeezed into a bottle and - wouldn't you just know it - the opening somehow became pinned shut... He was trapped for 40 minutes before he was discovered and set free by a hotel maid.
Well, Friends....I'll be back in two weeks.......Be Safe..