Good Morning...Friends and Neighbors...
Boy, we're having some warm weather...
And we love it....
It's really nice to be able to enjoy the deck again...
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Ready for some sausage links, Petewete??
With biscuits, no less....
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This guy had a good breakfast...digging a hole
in the middle of the road....!!
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Yeah...be careful....
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Cats get sleepy after they eat....
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Okay, Okay....I Fear......
are you happy now ??
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I don't know about this guy...
Don't look right......!!
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You takes your chance....Skippy.....
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I just don't believe that.....
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Your gonna have a lump, there!!
Okay, I'll leave now....
I know were I'm not wanted......
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♥♥♥
~~ Why did God make our butt cracks go up and down instead of side to side?
So when you go down a slide you don't go...... blub..blub..blub..blub..blub..blub!!!!
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~~ Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat,
a young girl said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize some
poor animal suffered so you could have that?"
Her mother shot her an angry look,
"How dare you talk about your father like that?"
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~~ A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he
strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap
and toting a ball and bat.
"I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced.
Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.
"Strike One!" he yelled.
Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again,
"I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"
He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung
again and missed. "Strike Two!" he cried.
The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball
carefully.
He spit on his hands and rubbed them together.
He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the
greatest hitter in the world!"
Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it.
He missed. "Strike Three!"
"Wow!" he exclaimed.
"I'm also the greatest pitcher in the world!"
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~~ An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years
of being away from the church.
There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and
chocolates.
Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since
I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the
confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side.
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~~ So how bad is the economy really doing, you ask?
* Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.
* African television stations are now showing......
'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
* Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
* I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
* Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
* They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."
* When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share
a room.
*One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali
pirates.
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~~ One day a bachelor, who was a poor tipper,
walked into his favorite restaurant and ordered lunch.
A new waitress served his meal and received a three cent tip.
When he came in the next day, she thanked him for his '
generosity' and she said she could tell the character of a
diner by the way he tipped.
"Yeah? What can you tell about me?" he asked.
"You put three pennies in a neat row," said the waitress,
"and that shows you are a very tidy person.
The first penny tells me you are frugal and the second tells
me that you are a bachelor."
"That's true," he agreed.
"But what does the third penny tell you?"
"The third penny tells me your father was a bachelor too"
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~~ Thomas Gladstone, a stockbroker, received an urgent
phone call one afternoon.
"My name is Walters," the caller announced.
"About twoweeks ago, my wife got this crazy idea and
started walking the street, asking me to procure customers
for her."
"Just a minute,"Gladstone protested.
"You want Dr. Gladstone the psychiatrist.
His name is right below mine in the phone book.
Many people dial me by mistake."
"No mistake," came the reply.
"I want you to invest all the money we're making.
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~~ You know....
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says,
'You're only interested in one thing,'
and you can't remember what it is.
~~ The panic-stricken golfer charged into the clubhouse,
grabbed the pro by the arm and said, "You have to help!
I was on the 9th hole and I hit a terrible slice.
The ball sailed right off the course and hit a guy riding a motorcycle.
He lost control and swerved into the path of a truck.
The truck tried to stop but jack- knifed, rolled over and broke apart.
It was carrying hundreds of bee hives and now the angry bees are
attacking everyone in sight.
It's awful! It's a disaster!
What should I do?"
"Well, the first thing is you've got to keep your arms straight and remember
to get your right hand a bit more under the club."
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~~ KNOWLEDGE
There once was an old man from Esser
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.
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~~ I had spent the morning trying to persuade our stubborn dogs to stay
out from underfoot, with my son Mitch watching closely.
"Mom, do you know why dogs are better than kids?" he asked finally.
"They don't listen either, but at least they'll eat leftovers."
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~~ My girlfriend came down the stairs wearing nothing but
fish net stockings.
I said, "You wanna watch that you don't catch something".
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Todays Thought: There comes a point in your life when you realize:..Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore...And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.........
Rae's Trivia...... What did the Greeks think of parsley? Parsley is a common herb of the Mediterranean area and was well known to the ancient Greeks.
They considered it too sacred to eat. Romans did serve it as a garnish and to improve the taste of food.
They believed it had special powers and would keep them sober.
~~ ~~ ~~
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