that chip-beef gravy on biscuits....Weeeeeeee.
Your gonna miss out on that "Witchy".....
Yep....we still have some snow on the ground, and now
they say we're gonna get more Tues., and Wed......
O-well bring it on...And just think...Canada had to truck snow in....
I was gonna have an apple, but it bite me...
You gotta watch them.......mean critters..
You didn't expect that move did ya?
Fight...fight....winner takes on Bud-light beer.....
I think just about all kids play like this....I know I did....
This is a lowland Tenrecs...them's quills and they will stick you.
Weird looking..... don't worry I won't touch him.....
Local...Teabaggers....gotta watch them terrorists.....
I don't think it'll Fly, Bubba...
Looks like a biker friend I know.....Jim is that you??
~~ A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old
daughter to answer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
~~ Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her
When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to
"I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her
shoulder.......... "I get asked that all the time.
Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed.
"He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
~~ last time I went to the therapist.
He noticed how stressed I was and asked what was wrong.
I told him about my finaces being a wreck and how I was worried about
losing my job.........
I now have to pay for the sessions in advance....with cash.
~~ A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly being asked to
look for things they couldn't find.
Most of the time these items were directly in front of them.
Seeing her frustration over this when it happened yet again,
one of her sons remarked:
"It's not my fault, Mom. I don't have 'parental vision':"
~~ The teacher said to her class, "Maria got the highest grade on the
Spanish test, which shows what can happen when parents take the
trouble to study along with their children and speak the language at home."
"In that case," Billy piped up, "I can't wait to take my next math test.
My parents are both squares, and they speak in circles."
~~ A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and
turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).
While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
So it went, step, step, “ROAR,” step, step, “ROAR,” all the way down
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard
by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from
all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."
~~ My 85-year-old mother had been feeling dizzy, and we were sitting
at the table discussing possible reasons for this.
Laurel, my 14- year-old daughter, decided to show off what she had
learned in health class.
"Maybe," she said, "Grandma's dizzy because the fallopian tubes in her
ears are plugged."
~~ While studying theater at the London Academy of Music and
Dramatic Arts, Michael Lerner briefly shared a house with Yoko Ono,
who he later called a very "strange woman."
One night, for example, they shared Chinese food together, along
with some conversation.
"She was talking to me," he recalled, "about the moon being a grapefruit!"
~~ Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to
absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.
~~ Early in my career as a judge, I conducted hearings for those
involuntarily committed to our state psychiatric hospital.
On my first day, I asked a man at the door of the hospital,
"Can you tell me where the courtroom is?"
"Why?" he asked.
"I'm the judge."
Pointing to the building, he whispered, "Don't tell them that.
They'll never let you out."
~~ "Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch,
"You've got to help me!
Every night I have the same horrible dream.
I'm lying in bed when all of a sudden five women rush in and start
tearing off my clothes."
The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?"
"I push them away!"
"I see........ And what can I do to help you with this?"
The patient implored, "Please--break my arms!"
I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us that the
less we use our power the greater it will be. - Thomas Jefferson -
Well, I'm off to get that breakfast....