It's good down Hummingbird Lane way....
I expect theirs is just as bad.......
Fish for breakfast.....a nice one too......
The choice was obvious, to me at least.
However, my sisters did not approve of the boat.
One day during lunch with them, I was having trouble following the conversation.
Finally I leaned over to one of my sisters and asked what had just been said.
"You should have brought along your pontoon boat," she replied.
~~~ I'm a life-and-career coach and one morning, when a prospective client called for an appointment, I asked him what he wanted to get out of our sessions.
"Clarity," he said very firmly.
"And on what issues are you looking for clarity?" I probed.
"Well," he said in a less confident tone, "I really don't know."
~~~ The problem with riverboat gambling is that you can't tell if you're queasy from losing your money or getting seasick.
~~~ A father is in church with three of his young children, including his five year old daughter.
As was customary, he sat in the very front row so that the children could properly witness the service.
During this particular service, the minister was performing the baptism of a tiny infant.
The little five year old girl was taken by this, observing that he was saying something and pouring water over the infant's head.
With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl turned to her father and asked with all the innocence of a five year old...
"Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?"
~~~ While I waited in our high school health office, I overheard another student explain to the nurse how badly his eyes hurt.
"My head is spinning," he moaned.
"and I can't see straight."
After listening to his ailments for ten minutes, even the often skeptical nurse was convinced.
"I am calling your mother to come pick you up," she said, dialing the telephone.
"Oh that won't be necessary," the student instantly replied.
"I can drive myself home."
~~~ One rainy morning, wife went for her daily run.
As she returned to the house, she slipped and fell, hitting her head on the driveway.
I called the paramedics.
When they arrived, they asked her some questions to determine her coherency.
"What is today?" inquired one man.
Without hesitation, the Wife replied, "Trash day."
~~~ I teach English as a second language to adult immigrants.
One day, I asked my class if anyone ever dreamt in English.
I got puzzled looks as my students tried to understand what a dream was and what I meant by my question.
So I asked it again.
This Juan, a Spanish speaker, nodded his head."
Really?" I said. "When you dream, you dream in English?"
"Yes!" Juan replied.
"Amazing!" I said. "
If you dream in your second language, that means you have assimilated it.
That usually doesn't happen for many years.
Are you sure you dream in English?"
"Yes, yes," he insisted, "but I don't understand what I'm dreaming!"
~~~ During a CPR training class, we were paired up to practise the Heimlich manoeuvre.
The instructor set the scene by saying, "Imagine you're at a dinner party with your spouse and he or she starts choking."
He then reminded us not to do anything to people who were coughing, because they'd probably dislodge the obstruction their own.
We were to calm such victims with quiet talk and encourage them to continue coughing.
When the role playing began, one woman moved close to her coughing "husband."
She placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Honey, did you remember to mail your life insurance premium cheque last week?"
~~~ Pete lost his cell phone while on a business trip, so he panicked the following week when he thought he'd left his Blackberry at a restaurant.
After a frantic search, he was relieved to hear it ringing in his desk.
His relief was short lived, however.
On the line was the restaurant, calling him to let him know he'd left his credit card there.
~~~ A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked.
The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
Today's Thought: Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.