Goodmorning Every one.... Well we got some rain last night...
Woke me up at 3:30 it was raining so hard...
But we needed it pretty bad.
☼

See, they are feeding even after the sun goes down...

I've been filling the feeders, sunup-noon-evening.....

☼

A different kind of a feeder....ha-ha

I think I know this guy....

☼

Yep...I don't like babysitting either....

☼

She doesn't either......

☼

He could care less......

He just wants to lay around......

☼

This guy looks funny......

He doesn't have to babysit.....
☼

The answer- carry your baby with you......

What can I say??

☼

Yah, don't play around in the deep end !!
☼

Yep.... A new one every day!

☼

Well, I'm outta here, as soon as I wind this baby up.....

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ We all grew up in a town on the New Jersey shore and spent our

summers at the beach, swimming, surfing, hanging out with friends.

One of my friends loved the season so much, we began calling him
Mr. Summertime.
"What happens when summer is over?" someone asked.
I thought for a minute, then said, "In September he becomes the Fall Guy."

☼

~~ Any time the alarm goes off after-hours at the municipal office
where I work, the security company calls me at home and I have to
go back and reset it.
Late at night I got one of those calls.
As I was getting ready to head out the door,
my husband groggily said, "You're not going down there by yourself
at this hour."
Just as I was thinking, How thoughtful of him,
he added, "Better take the dog with you."

☼

~~ We brought our newborn son, Robert, to the pediatrician for
his first checkup.
As he finished, the doctor told us, "You have a cute baby."
Smiling, I said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."
"No," he replied, "just to those whose babies really are
good- looking."
"So what do you say to the others?" I asked.
"He looks just like you."

☼

~~ Do you have a nickname for your beloved?
Snookums, maybe?
My Little Dollop of Joy?
The Brits have lots of them.
The London jeweler H. Samuel discovered these pet
names signed on gift cards:
* Sexy Pig.
* Poo Face.
* Sausage.
* Chubby Cheeks.
* Monkey Boy.
* Fatty Bum Bum.
* Lobster. (Lobster??)

☼

~~ An honest weatherman says,
"Today's forecast is bright and sunny with
an 80% chance that I'm wrong."

☼

~~ 1. Your Breakfast........slang orders...
Adam and Eve on a raft = Poached eggs on toast.
Burn the British = English muffin toasted.
Sinkers and suds = doughnuts and coffee.
2. Your Lunch.......
First lady = spare ribs (another Adam and Eve reference).
Burn one, clean up the kitchen = hamburger..
Two cows, make 'em cry = two burgers with onions.
Radio = tuna (get it? Tuner) .
3. To Drink.........
Blonde and sweet = coffee with milk and sugar.
Squeeze one = orange juice.
4. Dessert............
Fish eyes = tapioca pudding
Houseboat = banana split.
Nervous pudding = jello.
Eve with a lid on = apple pie.
Put a hat on it = add ice cream.

☼

~~ The less a man knows, the bigger the noise he makes and
the higher the salary he commands.

☼

~~ An Irish cop stopped a speeding car.
The driver was a priest.
Putting away his citation book, the cop said, "Father,
I just stopped you to tell you there's a Protestant cop
at the next light!"

☼

~~ First cave man to second cave man: "I don't care what
you say.
We never had such unusual weather before they started using
bows and arrows."

☼
~~ A five-year-old told her mom she was going to have
ten babies when she grew up.
"That's a lot of babies," replied the mom.
The mom asked her eight-year-old son,
"How many are you going to have?"
"None" he answered, rolling his eyes.
"My wife is going to have the babies!"

☼
☼
Todays Thought:  "Someone's sitting in the shade today because
someone planted a tree a long time ago."

Good morning, friends and neighbors.....

Gonna be hot, and today is Doctor day....

Gotta get an early start......

☼

So that's were my sammach went......

and I wanted it badly.....

☼

Oh, well I guess I can have a melon or two ??

☼

Or even some cake ??

☼

Looks like their waiting for something to eat also...

☼

This guy stays hungry......

And he's a brown noser.....

☼

I guess he dosen't want anything to eat, or he doesn't

like what they put down for him...

☼

Oh, here's why he's hiding...he doesn't want to be seen

with this nut.....

☼

He just want to play...I wanna see his slam-dunk..

☼

I learned...I wouldn't be up there....

you..Pete??

☼

I don't think so.....

What's Carol think??

☼

Can't drive this thing in the snow.....

Kinda dumb lookin!!

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ Bobbie said...Angelina Jolie and I are alike. She is in show business, and I — know some people in show business.

☼

~~ On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co- worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.
"What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" I joked.
"It would go out," he replied in a very factual manner.
"Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that.
"Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?"
"No, the force from the explosion would blow out the match."

☼

~~ Gus sez ; I had phenomenal luck with my garden last year.
Nothing came up.

☼

~~ At dinner, Tommy said to his father, “Dad, I got into trouble at school
today and it’s all your fault.”
“How’s that?” asked Pete.
“Remember I asked you how much $500,000 was?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Well, a helluva lot ain’t the right answer.”

☼

~~ A delivery driver had to deliver a package twenty miles out of the city.
He drove over several unpaved roads and a nearly washed-out bridge.
He even had to walk the last mile, and when he got there he found a note
taped to the door.
It said, "Gone to the country."

☼

~~ Many times when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher.
That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.

☼

~~ The highways would probably be much safer if the automobiles were
left alone and the drivers were inspected every year.

☼

~~ Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.
"Teddy," he called, "how many more times have I got to tell you to come
down the stairs quietly?
Now, go back up and come down like a civilised human being."
There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
"That's better," said his father.
"Now will you always come down stairs like that?"
"Suits me," said Teddy....... "I slid down the bannister."

☼

~~ Many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their
card through the ATM card reader.
Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves having to explain
how it's done.
One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she
explained it.
I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down facing me."

☼

~~ "Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon.
A happiness weapon.
A beauty bomb.
And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one.
It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands,
millions, of little parachutes into the air.
Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas.
And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight.
Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in.
With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber
and umber and all the rest.
And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover
the world with imagination." (Robert Fulghum)

☼

~~ An irate father stormed into the principal’s office.
“I demand to know,” he screamed, “why my son Will was given a zero
 on his English examination.”
“Now, don’t get excited,” said the principal.
“We'll get your Will’s English teacher in here.
I'm sure she has some explanation.”
A few minutes later, the English teacher arrived.
“Why did you give Will a zero on his English final?” demanded the father.
“I had no choice,” said the English teacher.
“He handed in a blank paper with absolutely nothing on it.”
“That’s no excuse,” shouted the father.
“You could have at least given him an A for neatness!”

☼

~~ Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions, said the father.
“I'd like to know what would have happened if I'd asked as many questions
when I was a boy.”
“Perhaps,” said the boy, “you would’ve been able to answer some of mine.”

☼

~~ During a flood in a small Virginia town, a young girl was perched on top
of a house with a little boy from next door.
As they sat watching articles float along with the water,
they noticed a baseball cap float by.
Suddenly, the cap turned and came back, then turned around and went
downstream.
After it had gone some distance, it turned again and came back.
“Do you see that baseball cap?” said the girl.
“First it goes downstream, then turns around and comes back.”
“Oh, that’s my granddad,” replied the boy.
“This morning he said that come hell or high water, he was going to
cut the grass today.”

☼
☼
Todays thought:  A friend is someone who knows the song in your
heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

◄****************▼****************►

Good Morning Every one....Another nice day, maybe some rain later...
Sorry I'm a wee bit later then usuall....Phones were dead this morning..
What happens when you're on slow, slow dial-up and Yahoo.
☼

Yesterdays Sunrise...none this morning...

clouded over.....

☼

My little speckled friend....

There are about 15-16 that feeds on my feeders.

Great fun watching them....

☼

Wow...He likes that watermelon.....

☼

So does she.....wants some!!

☼

They would rather have meat.......

☼

She can't make up her mind.......?

☼

This is how your supposed to be served...

Watermelon wine??  I don't think so.....

That's redneck wine....

☼

Their mad because nobody served them...

Some body an't right.....

☼

Now they gotta fight over it.....

☼

Eno's right... He's tha man....

☼

Yep, It's turned upside down.....

Cop's are the bad guys, now....

☼

I guess It's time to go.....

 ☼☼

♥♥♥

~~ Hillary and Chelsea was sitting around a table having the mother/daughter talk.

Hillary asks, "You and this boy have been dating for several years, have you had sex?"
Chelsea replies, "No. Not according to Dad."

☼

~~ A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds
when he entered a patient's room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of
wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood
in half?"
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, " He's my friend, but he's a little crazy.
He thinks he's a lightbulb."
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him
down from there before he hurts himself"
Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

☼

~~ "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded.
Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."

☼

~~ George knocked on the door of his friend's house.
When his friend's mother answered he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"
"No," said the mother, "it's too cold."
"Well, then," said George, "can his football come out to play?"

☼

~~ Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers
who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate
emergency equipment.
One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen
and needed to go to a hospital.
After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics
would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused
the fall?"
"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

☼

~~ When Ben hit his thumb with a hammer he let out a few
choice words.
Shocked by her son's outburst, his mother said,
"Don't you dare use that kind of language in here."
"William Shakespeare did," replied Ben.
"Well, you'd better stop going around with him," said Mom.

☼

~~ The Department of Defense has a Contact Us link on its
website inviting readers to pose any question they want.
One guy did just that: "So do you have any top secret
information you would like to tell me?
I am doing a project for my senior economics class and
was just wondering...E-mail me back."

☼

~~ Big Brother: "That planet over there is Mars."
Little Brother: "Then that other one must be Pa's."

☼

~~ In January 1991, I was being deployed to Operation
Desert Storm.
Before boarding the C-141 transport at Shaw Air Force Base
in South Carolina,
I had to go through tight security.
After a meticulous x-ray examination of my carry-on bag,
I removed all metal
objects from my uniform and was finally able to pass through
 the detector
without setting off the alarm.
"Just out of curiosity," I asked the airman operating the
 checkpoint,
"why did you make me go through all that?"
"We want to be sure you aren't carrying any weapons on
 board," he said, handing me back my M-16 rifle.

☼

~~ Q: What's the best way to contact your long-lost relatives?'
A: Win the Lottery.

☼

~~ The clerk in a shoe store was trying hard to persuade
Pat that a pair of uncomfortable shoes fit her.
"I'm telling you, these shoes are too pointed and too narrow,"
argued Pat.
"But, madam," replied the salesman, "everyone is wearing
narrow, pointed shoes this season."
"That may be," countered the Pat,
"but I'm still wearing my last season's feet."

☼

~~ My niece and her fiancé were at the town hall,
applying for their marriage license.
After they filled out all the papers, the clerk said,
"This license is good for 30 days."
"No, you don't understand," replied the nervous groom-to-be....
"We want one that's 'till death do us part."

☼
☼
Todays Thought:  He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Good Morning....Friends...... Here It is August and we're
way behind in rain.... We had a sprinkle yesterday.....
But not near enough......
☼

Looks like a storm coming over the mountains...

☼

And It clouded up, but no rain, it went around us.....

☼

A rain dance??

Didn't help......

☼

Jumping through the hoop, didn't help either.......

☼

The fat cat wanted to know what she could do.....?

☼

This guy is threating to bite...

but I don't think that will help matters...

☼

Oh..My... he looks scared......

She must be a good driver.....

☼

I'm not going there....

so I'm keeping my mouth closed....

☼

Thats a good first step.....

☼

Weird rest room.....

☼

Low rider school bus.....

What a cool ride..

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ Gus said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock."

She said, "But Dad, I'm no longer a child!"
He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."

☼

~~ Jeb Bush is running for president, and his campaign slogan is,
“I’m going to finish what my brother started.”

☼

~~ You know it's hot when the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.

☼

~~ A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child.
After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink.
The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home,
the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was.
In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."

☼



~~ When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alex sitting on a horse,
writing something.
"What on earth are you doing there?" he asked.
"Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favorite animal."

☼

~~ A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to
the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o'clock the next day if he ever wanted
to see his wife alive again.
He didn't arrive until almost 12:30.
A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled,
"What the hell took ya so long ? You're over two hours late."
"Hey ! Give me a break." whined the Yuppie. "I have a 27 handicap."

☼

~~ An economist is a man who gets invited to speak at banquets where
he tells everybody there's no such thing as a free lunch.

☼

~~ The Perfect Man.....
After endless searching, careful consideration, and almost never ceasing
debate, The Perfect Man has been found:
- He's tan.
- He's cute.
- He knows the importance of accessorizing.
- And if he looks at another girl you can rearrange his face.
His name?
Mr. Potato Head

☼

~~ "Wal-Mart plans to open 90 stores in China, one of which will be a
superstore called the Great Wal-Mart of China." (Jay Leno)

☼

~~ A customer brought her car into our Saturn dealership complaining of rattling noises.
Later, the technician said the problem was no big deal.
"Just a case of CTIP: Customer Thinks It's a Porsche."

☼

~~ Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?

They were both designed for the kids,
but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.

☼

~~  It is apparent that a man is struggling with the notion of
retirement when he opts to play golf.
Essentially the golfing retiree has traded days of indoor
frustration for outdoor frustration.

☼

~~ "I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." (Marilyn Monroe)

☼
☼
Todays Thought: A bird does not sing because it has an answer.

It sings because it has a song. 

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