☺☺   ☺☺ ♥ Trainer: have you been sticking to your diet? Me: *tries to mumble yes but a chicken wing falls out...

☺☺   •• ♥ Just opened a Christmas present from my uncle. It was a box of rice. Thanks Uncle Be...

  ☺☺ ♥ Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue ...

☺☺   ☺☺ ♥ Martin Shkreli in jail: "Can I have an aspirin?"  Jail: "Yes. That will be $197,...

☺☺   ☺☺ ♥ What did Frank Sinatra say when he was asked if he had ever kept wading birds as pets ? "Eg...