Down Hummingbird Lane

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*walks in on home intruder...
"omg please don't look at the dust!"

 

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This world would be a much better place if some people's
mothers would've just had a headache....

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A wife tells her husband while watching a
Mexican TV series, "Look, how much he loves her…"
"Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"

 

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Always live on the bottom floor it's further from heaven
and harder for God to see you sinning....

 

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Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. '
Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our
extra money into it'.

 

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I tried to take my wife hunting with me the other day.
We didn't go because she refused to dress up like a moose.

 

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A grandmother arrives and her grandson says-----
I'm so happy to see you grandma----now maybe Daddy
will do the trick he keeps promising.
 What trick is that? the Gradma said
The boy says:
Daddy said that if you came to stay with us again--
he was going to climb the walls.

 

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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the
escape key.

 

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I like to combine danger with awkwardness by falling
up stairs....
 

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While on a date, a teen boys car starts
to sputter and comes to a halt on an isolated
road on a moonlit light.
The boy says--that's funny, I wonder what that
knocking was?
The smart girl says: Well, I can tell you one thing
for sure--it wasn't opportunity.

 

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“The only thing common between a stork and an
obstetrician is the long bill.”

 

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