☺☺
♥
Grabs intercom:
ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA,
STAY HERE!
WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN
UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS....
ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA,
STAY HERE!
WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN
UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS....
••
If you use the Internet on your toilet while shitting,
you can log in as you log out.....
you can log in as you log out.....
••
[Ghost Hunters]
This ghost is a male, probably in his 40's
-how'd u figure that out?
He went bat shit crazy when we turned the thermostat up...
This ghost is a male, probably in his 40's
-how'd u figure that out?
He went bat shit crazy when we turned the thermostat up...
••
While in the hospital I complained about the food,
my bed, and the nurses.
My condition was listed as "highly critical."
While in the hospital I complained about the food,
my bed, and the nurses.
My condition was listed as "highly critical."
••
R-ville Trailer Park Rules...
1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three years.
2. No draining your oil onto the street.
3. No loud and wild parties without inviting the manager.
4. You may have no more than 3 beer can wind chimes
each only having no more than 6 cans each.
5. Drunkenness will not be tolerated in the streets prior
to 10 am.
6. While outside of your trailer you must be at least
partially clothed.
7. If you prefer to clean your trailer in the nude, please
close the curtains.
8. When bringing in the Jerry Springer or COPS film
crews, please provide the management prior written
notice so that certain residents may be forewarned.
9. Empty beer bottles should not be discarded on the
front lawn. However, they may remain there until you
are sober enough to collect them with the under-
standing you will collect them within 7 days whether
sober or not.
10. When bringing dates home to your trailer, please be
advised that in the event the sidewalks need to be
repaired or replaced due to the weight of your date, you
will be responsible for all cost incurred.
1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three years.
2. No draining your oil onto the street.
3. No loud and wild parties without inviting the manager.
4. You may have no more than 3 beer can wind chimes
each only having no more than 6 cans each.
5. Drunkenness will not be tolerated in the streets prior
to 10 am.
6. While outside of your trailer you must be at least
partially clothed.
7. If you prefer to clean your trailer in the nude, please
close the curtains.
8. When bringing in the Jerry Springer or COPS film
crews, please provide the management prior written
notice so that certain residents may be forewarned.
9. Empty beer bottles should not be discarded on the
front lawn. However, they may remain there until you
are sober enough to collect them with the under-
standing you will collect them within 7 days whether
sober or not.
10. When bringing dates home to your trailer, please be
advised that in the event the sidewalks need to be
repaired or replaced due to the weight of your date, you
will be responsible for all cost incurred.
••
If you love someone, let them go.
If they don't come back, get a dog.
If they don't come back, get a dog.
••
Walking by the lingerie section.....
Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy?
No one is ever going to see it anyway.
Me: Uh huh.'
Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy?
No one is ever going to see it anyway.
Me: Uh huh.'
••
*whispers to dog wearing a 'working dog, do not pet' vest*
psst.. what time does your shift end?
*whispers to dog wearing a 'working dog, do not pet' vest*
psst.. what time does your shift end?
••
Friend: "This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend."
Me: "This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come
when I call him."
Me: "This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come
when I call him."
••
My wife is attached to a machine that keeps her alive........
the refrigerator.
the refrigerator.
••
[on first date]
I'll have an iced tea, please.
Waiter: Sure.
Ummm...anything for the balloon with a woman's face
drawn on it?
I'll have an iced tea, please.
Waiter: Sure.
Ummm...anything for the balloon with a woman's face
drawn on it?
••••
