Down Hummingbird Lane

••

 

••

♥

"You seem to have more than the average
share of intelligence for a man of your
background," sneered the lawyer at a witness
on the stand.
"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment,
" replied the witness.

 

•• 

When I was younger, I was so stupid,
I made bad decisions that will haunt
 me for the rest of my life.
And by "younger" I mean yesterday.

 

•• 

Scientists just discover a "shyness" gene...
They would have found it sooner but it was
hiding behind another gene.

 

••

The only time I ever said no to a drink was
when I misunderstood the question.

 

••

Scientists have found the gene for alcoholism.
They found it at a party, talking way too loud....

 

••

Cat Vision.....
What a human sees: A Beauteful sandy beach..
what a cat sees: The worlds largest litter box..
WHAT A HUMAN SEES: A new couch..
WHAT A CAT SEES: A new scraching post..
What a human sees: a new Pet fish ..
What a cat sees: A Tasty snack..

 

•• 

Carpe diem is Latin for"seize the day".
Anyone know the Latin for "throw it back?"

 

••

After a week of agonizing physical training,
police academy cadets still hadn’t been
admitted to the firing range.
“I don’t get it,” huffed one trainee to another as
they pounded out yet another five-mile jog.
“What do you mean?”
“We still don’t know how to protect people
and property, but we’re getting real good at
running away.”

 

••

Would it.
Be wrong to pawn everything I own right before
I die.......and will the tickets to children?

••
Have you ever tried eating a clock?
It's very time consuming.

 

••••