Down Hummingbird Lane

•☺☺•

••

♥

Imagine my joy when I was getting out the
Christmas decorations and found a present I
forgot to give my kids last year.
Their excited faces were a picture as they
unwrapped it and opened the box.
Such a pity it was a puppy.

 

••

Did you hear about the Native American
stripper?
Every time she danced, it rained.......

 

••

I've just been to a Muslim birthday party.
The musical chairs was a bit slow but, damn,
the pass the parcel was quick....

•• 
Attention Walmart Shoppers...
There is someone dressed appropriately on
aisle 12...

 

••

My friends cannot handle their alcohol.
They dropped me 3 times last night carrying
me out of the bar.

••
I hired a Chinese man to video my son's
wedding.
Phil Ming did a great job.
Of course He had help..
from his cousin, Eddie Tor....

 

••

A man has a racehorse, never won a race.
Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today
or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning.”
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off,
they move the gate away and there lays his
horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you
sleeping?”
The horse, half asleep says,
“Hey, I have to get up at three in the morning."

••
Hi, I'd like to order a baby
"Excuse me?"
It says here you deliver babies?
"Sir this is a hospital"
[vampire quickly hangs up phone]

 

•• 

"How about if the villain is a psychopath out to
make a skin suit?"
Not in a kids movie, dude.
"Ok, but it's puppy skin?"
 Oh, then YES! 

 

••

Drug smugglers tried to take bales of
marijuana to the states by boat.
They didn't check the weather and ran into a
terrible storm.
The boat took water and sank.
The marijuana washed up on an island where
it was eaten by some seabirds.
It left no tern unstoned.

 

••••