••
♥
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -
and most fools do."
-- Dale Carnegie
••
For Sale; FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR.
WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE
SMELL.
••
Joan and her neighbor are talking about their
daughters.
Joan says, "My daughter is at the university.
She's very bright, you know.
Every time we get a letter from her we have to go
to the dictionary."
Her neighbor says, "You are lucky, every time we
hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.
••
Last night a friend asked if he could crash on my
couch.
I had to explain to him I was married now and
that's where I sleep.
••
I got a date !
O.K. so I was posting on socialist mingle for a
huge hootered GILF, and hot dam !
I get Nancy P. on the line , she wants to have a
three way with some dork named Gruber....
••
A wise Chinese man once said,
"If a dog barks it's undercooked"
••
"The world is full of willing people, some willing
to work, the rest willing to let them."
-- Robert Frost
••
A guy is walking down the street with his friend.
He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."
His friend replies, "How's that?"
"It's like this -- my hair line is in recession,
my stomach is a victim of inflation,
and the combination of these factors is putting
me into a deep depression."
••
When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can
be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the
wife is.
••
DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR
VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK
PUMPED.
••
I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid
Man retire they'll open up a small demolition
business together.
••••
