Any body got a comb??
••
♥
Special shout out to the CIA,
who were pouring cold water on people BEFORE
the "ice bucket challenge" made it cool...
••
Here are the 10,535 pages of the Patient Protection
and Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. Obama Care)
condensed to 4 sentences:
1. In order to insure the uninsured, we first have
to uninsure the insured.
2. Next, we require the newly uninsured to be
re-insured.
3. To re-insure the newly uninsured, they are
required to pay extra charges to be re-insured.
4. The extra charges are required so that the
original insured, who became uninsured, and
then became re-insured, can pay enough extra so
that the original uninsured can be insured,
which will be free of charge to them.
••
I used to tip my favorite Hooters waitress $4.20
Then she got a boob job....now I have to tip her
$4.60.
••
My wife nominated me to do the ice bucket
challenge.
I'm a little confused.
Has anyone else been asked to hold a toaster at
the same time?
••
I took a serious dump and sprayed pine scented
air freshener in my bathroom, but it still smells
like a bear took a shit in the woods.
••
"Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in
the morning."
••
If Dracula has no reflection
how does he get such a straight part in his hair?
••
Just took a shower.
You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that
thing out of Home Depot.
••
A mother duck with 8 ducklings following her is
probably the cutest thing I've ever almost hit with
my car.
••
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me!
Ma'am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
••
Chicken salad with egg in it
is my fave way to eat two generations.
••••
