And Today we're having: Sunny. Weather.....
Highs in the lower 60s.
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♥♥♥
~ Each day when I would come home from work I would
drop to my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he
wanted to box.
I wanted him to learn how to protect himself, so we
would spar around for a few minutes before supper.
One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes.
The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to
try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a
particular pair that he liked.
We asked if he wanted to wear them home and he
replied, "Yes."
The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of
our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked,
"Do you want a box?"
Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose.
After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several
minutes explaining why this happened.
Luckily, our salesman was the father of a 4 year old.
drop to my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he
wanted to box.
I wanted him to learn how to protect himself, so we
would spar around for a few minutes before supper.
One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes.
The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to
try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a
particular pair that he liked.
We asked if he wanted to wear them home and he
replied, "Yes."
The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of
our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked,
"Do you want a box?"
Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose.
After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several
minutes explaining why this happened.
Luckily, our salesman was the father of a 4 year old.
☼
~ Little Boy: “Father I heard you once say that we all
came from dust.”
Parish priest, “That’s right I did say that”.
Little boy: “And Father I heard you say that when we
die we go back to dust.”
Parish Priest: “That’s right, I did say that.
I am glad you were listening so very well”.
Little Boy: “Well Father I think you should come to my
place and look under my bed because someone is
either coming or going”!
came from dust.”
Parish priest, “That’s right I did say that”.
Little boy: “And Father I heard you say that when we
die we go back to dust.”
Parish Priest: “That’s right, I did say that.
I am glad you were listening so very well”.
Little Boy: “Well Father I think you should come to my
place and look under my bed because someone is
either coming or going”!
☼
~ TOP EIGHT SIGNS YOU ARE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK
OR TREATING ON HALLOWEEN:
8. You get winded from knocking on the door.
7. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
6. You ask for high fiber candy only.
5. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
4. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!"
and you're not wearing a mask.
3. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
and can't remember the rest.
2. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
dislodge your hairpiece.
1. You're the only "Super Hero" in the neighbourhood
with a walker!
OR TREATING ON HALLOWEEN:
8. You get winded from knocking on the door.
7. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
6. You ask for high fiber candy only.
5. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
4. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!"
and you're not wearing a mask.
3. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
and can't remember the rest.
2. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
dislodge your hairpiece.
1. You're the only "Super Hero" in the neighbourhood
with a walker!
☼
~ While my parents were making their funeral
arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a
plot that he thought they would like.
“You’ll have a beautiful view of the swan pond,”
he assured them.
Dad wasn’t sold: “Unless you’re including a periscope
with my casket, I don’t know how I’m going to enjoy it.”
arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a
plot that he thought they would like.
“You’ll have a beautiful view of the swan pond,”
he assured them.
Dad wasn’t sold: “Unless you’re including a periscope
with my casket, I don’t know how I’m going to enjoy it.”
☼
~ My friend has a bad habit of overdrawing her bank
account.
One day before we went shopping, I complained about
my lack of funds and lamented, “Guess I’ll use plastic.”
Unconcerned, she whipped out her checkbook:
“I’m using rubber.”
account.
One day before we went shopping, I complained about
my lack of funds and lamented, “Guess I’ll use plastic.”
Unconcerned, she whipped out her checkbook:
“I’m using rubber.”
☼
~ One rainy evening,a couple emerged from a
restaurant only to find that they had locked the keys in
the car.
The husband insisted he could open the door with a
wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to
get one.
There were none to be found.
The husband then ran to a department store a few
blocks away and returned with a hanger.
After a few attempts, he got the door open and they
both climbed in.
As they sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger
under his seat.
With a smug grin, he said, “Now if this ever happens
again, I’ll have one.”
restaurant only to find that they had locked the keys in
the car.
The husband insisted he could open the door with a
wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to
get one.
There were none to be found.
The husband then ran to a department store a few
blocks away and returned with a hanger.
After a few attempts, he got the door open and they
both climbed in.
As they sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger
under his seat.
With a smug grin, he said, “Now if this ever happens
again, I’ll have one.”
☼
~ A woman needs only four animals in her life:
a mink on her back, a jaguar in her garage
a tiger in her bed...
a mink on her back, a jaguar in her garage
a tiger in her bed...
☼
~~ A rabbi, a Unitarian Universalist minister,
and a Wiccan priestess decided to go on a fishing trip
together.
They went down to their local lake, rented a boat, and
went out on to the lake for a day of fishing.
As the afternoon approached, the trio got hungry—
and realized that they left their lunches on the shore of
the lake.
The minister got out of the boat, walked across the lake,
got his lunch, walked back, and sat down to eat his lunch.
"You should have gotten all of our lunches!"
scolded the priestess.
She then got up, walked across the lake, picked up her
lunch as well as the rabbi's, walked back across the
lake, and sat down, handing the rabbi his afternoon
meal.
The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind,
his eyes wide with shock.
He manages to sputter, "Wha... what... how did you...?"
The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and
asks "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?"
The priestess looks at the minister, raises an eyebrow,
and replies "What rocks?"
and a Wiccan priestess decided to go on a fishing trip
together.
They went down to their local lake, rented a boat, and
went out on to the lake for a day of fishing.
As the afternoon approached, the trio got hungry—
and realized that they left their lunches on the shore of
the lake.
The minister got out of the boat, walked across the lake,
got his lunch, walked back, and sat down to eat his lunch.
"You should have gotten all of our lunches!"
scolded the priestess.
She then got up, walked across the lake, picked up her
lunch as well as the rabbi's, walked back across the
lake, and sat down, handing the rabbi his afternoon
meal.
The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind,
his eyes wide with shock.
He manages to sputter, "Wha... what... how did you...?"
The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and
asks "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?"
The priestess looks at the minister, raises an eyebrow,
and replies "What rocks?"
☼
~ I bought a pint of Häagen-Dazs ice cream at the
supermarket.
As the cashier rang it up, I asked, “How do you
pronounce that?”
Speaking slowly and distinctly, he said,
“Four dollars and seventy-nine cents.”
supermarket.
As the cashier rang it up, I asked, “How do you
pronounce that?”
Speaking slowly and distinctly, he said,
“Four dollars and seventy-nine cents.”
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Todays Thought:
It's difficult to have rosy thoughts about the future if
your mind is full of the blues of the past....
your mind is full of the blues of the past....
Rae's Trivia......
The Amazon River pushes so much water into the
Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at
sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water
out of the ocean.
The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than
the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and
three times the flow of all rivers in the United States ..
Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at
sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water
out of the ocean.
The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than
the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and
three times the flow of all rivers in the United States ..
ººº
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