Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning Friends.....
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We can have pie for breakfast......

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Some day I hope to be able to afford an iPhone...
like the girl in front of me with the food stamps....

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"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?"
asked the fellow from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment,
then began in a patient tone, "Well, sir, cattle can do a
powerful lot of damage with horns.
ometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw.
Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple
drops of acid where their horns would grow in,
and that stops 'em cold.
Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.
But the reason this cow don't have no horns, sir....
is 'cause it's a horse.

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The collective noun for bison is herd, unless theyre on
iptoes - then theyre unherd.

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Pete: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face
with a very fierce gorilla?
Gus: No, what happened?
Pete; Well, I stood there, without a gun . . .
The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat
his chest.......... Then it came closer and closer . . .
Gus: What did you do?
Pete; Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.

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One lab mouse to another: I've trained that crazy human
at last.
How have you done that?
I don't know how, but every time I run through that maze and
ring the bell, he gives me a piece of cheese.

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Two Yuppettes were shopping.
When they started to discuss their home lives,
one said,"Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight.
I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Oh! Not yet." the first replied,
"I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

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A midget waddles into the library and asks,
"Have you got a book on Irony?"
The librarian says, "Yeah, it's on the top shelf."

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Mom: Where were you last night?
Son: Studying with my friends...
Mom: Don't lie!
Son: Alright, I was at a stripper club.
Mom: Did you see anything there that you were not
supposed to see?
Son: Yeah... I saw dad.

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Todays Thought;

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to
make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you
are ever going to fight.
Never stop fighting." - E. E. Cummings

Rae's trivia......

Bears are three-gaited, meaning they walk, lope or gallop.
It has been reported that a grizzly bear can run nearly as fast
as a horse (33-34 mph) for a distance of 50 to 100 yards.
This is definitely faster than a human being can run.
The lope, slower than the gallop, is an easy, ground-covering,
bounding gait that does not seem to tire the bear and can be
maintained for a long time.

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